V druhom príspevku je kompletný preklad vytovrený iniciatívnym fanúšikom KlayKapom - klik
Spolupracovali: Spade, Luana, RFucik, piper21, kubinko, Fiľo, Ondrej...
Úvod
Som Quater. Čítaj moje slová a buď mojím priateľom.
Otec mi prikázal zapísať pravdu minulosti, takže čitatelia zistia, kto bol pred nimi.
A tak som dal každému z mojich siedmich synov jednu z týchto samovyrývaných hlinených stien, ktoré zaznamenávajú históriu.
Tento múr automaticky zaznamenáva všetky činnosti v tomto svete a v ostatných iných svetoch vrátane každého z múrov.
Hľa. Ten, kto pošpiní záznamy na týchto stenách, bude považovaný za nepriateľa Otca. Už vôbec nebudem mať viac rád toho, kto to spraví.
Túto stenu vytvoril Otec. Naučí ťa ako získať vedomosti, integritu a schopnosti pre riešenie problémov.
V každom z našich životov musíme spraviť rozhodnutia. Keď príde tento čas, buď pripravený spraviť správne voľby.
Pokračuj v tom, čo vieš, že je pravda, aj keď je veľakrát náročné ju vidieť. Tieto steny môžu obsahovať len tú pravdu, ktorú poznáš.
Quater.
Otec
Otec je láska ktorú nikto nikdy nevidel. Otec je mimo nášho chápania. Všetci ľudia vedia, že tu bol skôr než čokoľvek predtým. Je šťastný a teší sa z existencie. Hovorí sa, že je veľký a mocný; a pokiaľ vieme, nikto iný tu pred ním nebol. Je z druhej strany. Nikto nikdy nebol na druhej strane, ale je to údajne nádherné miesto, kde je mier, bez umierania.
Quater
Quater je jediná bytosť, akú Otec kedy stvoril. Po dlhé veky bol Otcovým dobrým priateľom. Quater je oficiálnym prostredníkom medzi všetkým živým a Otcom. Keďže on sám bol Otcom vytvorený, len veľmi málo sa dá z pohľadu na Quatera zistiť o Otcovi. Ale, pokiaľ bolo niekedy niekomu niečo o Otcovi známe, bol to Quater, kto to odhalil. Quater vyrobil sedem korún pre sedem bytostí, ktoré stvoril, aby ich Otec schválil. Quater opustil pohodlie Otcovej prítomnosti, aby osídlil nový svet, kde by jeho bytosti mali svoje vlastné miesto, aby sa s Quaterom zžili.
Ogdilla
Quater vytvoril Ogdillu ako akýsi pokus. Dal Ogdillovi korunu, aj keď ten nemal hlavu, na ktorú by si ju mohol nasadiť. Ogdilla je masa modrého dymu, ktorý si ledva uvedomuje samého seba. Hovorí sa, že Ogdilla je duchom dobrodružstva, keďže v deň svojho zrodu opustil Quaterovu domovinu, aby bez prestania cestoval...
Pozbieral veľa častíc vesmíru, ktoré si na Ogdillovom chrbte vytvorili šťastný domov.
Ogdilla je teraz miliónkrát väčší než bol, keď ho Quater stvoril, a medzi jeho obyvateľov patria aj Zrnká Rilonatu.
Zrnká Rilonatu boli v neprestajnom konflikte so Zrnkami Tyče. Zrnká Tyče pestovali na Ogdillovom chrbte jedlo, za použitia vlastných slín. Zrnká Rilonatu nemali sliny, ale obývali veľkú väčšinu Ogdillovho chrbta. Zrnká Rilonatu boli zhnusené všetkým tým pľutím Zrniek Tyče a neboli nadšené, ani keď do slín šliapli.
Napätie medzi Zrnkami Rilonatu a Zrnkami Tyče trvalo po stáročia. Konflikt nikdy neprerástol do fyzického násilia, ale prišlo na veľa fňukania, urážania, zapálených úškrnov, nepokojov a tak ďalej. Toto obdobie je známe ako "Oobla Senchter Hakkt," alebo "Trojtisícročný konflikt," hoci skutočne trval len niečo okolo dvoch a pol tisícročí. Počas "Oobla Senchter Hakkt," došlo k incidentu, ktorý všetky Zrnká prinútil zabudnúť na svoju rozdielnosť a zároveň konflikt ešte zhoršiť.
Na dvadsiaty siedmy deň ôsmeho mesiaca, počas jedenásteho roku prvého storočia druhého milénia "Oobla Senchter Hakkt," sa Zrnká Rilonatu zobudili, aby našli čudesného tvora gigantických rozmerov spať v Screnchyskom Parku. Pri jeho hlave, kde počas spánku slintal, sa vytvorilo jazierko. Ako ubiehali ranné hodiny, okolo titana sa začal zhromažďovať dav Zrniek. Čím bol dav väčší, tým viac Zrniek začalo medzi sebou hovoriť. Vrava sa nakoniec stala tak hlasnou, že sa obor zobudil a posadil sa. Gigant vyceril svoje zubiská a zavrčal na nich z hĺbok svojho obrovského tela. Zrnká ho zo strachu, že ich zožerie zaživa, začali kŕmiť. Obor si mohol poľahky do úst napchať tri alebo štyri z nich. Vyzeral bizarne, dokonca aj na obra; nepodobal sa na nič, čo dovtedy videli. Na jeho hlave bol mäsitý prstenec, ktorý začínal takmer úplne na vrchu, potom zatáčal dolu a k hlave sa znova pripájal na čeľusti. Tri Zrnká, stojace jedno na druhom, mohli stáť vo vnútri prstenca. Mal velikánske pery, ktoré zakrývali jeho obrovitánske zuby, kým Zrnká žiadne pery nemali. Nad perami, takmer na hornom konci tváre, boli dve guľaté veci s bodkami uprostred. Zdalo sa, že obor ich používa k pozorovaniu vecí, keďže bodky sa pohybovali a zamerali vždy na toho, kto k nemu prehovoril. Jeho trup bol v porovnaní so zvyškom tela malý, kým jeho nohy boli strašne dlhé. Z hrude mu trčali tri tŕňovité rohy.
Nakoniec sa Zrnká celé dni snažili prihovárať obrovi, so snahou zistiť, či je to priateľ alebo nepriateľ, ale bezvýsledne. Jeho druh reči znel príliš nízko, hlboko a hlučne; príliš im to pripomínalo chrčivé vrčanie, ktoré sa ozývalo z hlbín jeho tela. Zrnkám sa to nepáčilo a nerozumeli tomu. Nevedeli rozoznať, kde sa jedna slabika končila a iná začínala; a chápanie celých viest sa ukázalo byť beznádejne nemožným. Aby sa vyhli tomu, že by ho museli počúvať, ho Zrnká neprestajne kŕmili. Zrnká Rilonatu nedržali stráž, kde sa uvelebil obor; nikdy by ho nedokázali premôcť. Nech je ako chce, obor ich nikdy neohrozil. Kráľ Rilonat zamýšľal získať obrovu dôveru, takže by ho mohol použiť na ušliapanie Zrniek Tyče. Kráľ Rilonate často navštevoval Screnchyský Park, aby sa s obrom porozprával. Chcel naňho urobiť dojem, a tak prikázal najlepším artistom z rilonatského cirkusu, aby obra navštevovali. Kráľ nariadil monocyklistom robiť premety vo vnútri prstenca na obrovej hlave, zatiaľ čo výškový skokan predvádzal akrobatické skoky z jeho gigantických pier do suda vody pri obrových nohách. Počas týchto ukážok cirkusantských schopností obor nerobil nič, iba nepohnute stál a usmieval sa. Dokonca aj keď sa cirkusanti hojdali na hrazdách zavesených na troch bodcoch trčiacich mu z hrude, obor stál ako kamenná socha s hlúpym úsmevom na tvári. Kráľ Rilonat zdvojnásobil svoje snahy s obrom komunikovať, keď videl, že gigant neubližoval cirkusantom, ktorí sa predvádzali na rôznych častiach jeho tela.
Deň za dňom prichádzal kráľ Rilonat za obrom, aby sa opakovane pokúšal obrovi vysvetliť, aby šiel a pošliapal Zrnká Tyče. Obor sa na kráľa často usmieval; pokýval hlavou, keď kráľ pokýval hlavou; pokrútil ňou, keď svojou pokrútil kráľ. Keď sa kráľ Rilonat plesol po čele, aj obor sa plesol po čele. Keď kráľ napodobnil chôdzu a ukázal smero, kde ležalo Kráľovstvo Tyče, obor vstal a zatancoval. Kráľ Rilonat bol hnevom celý bez seba! Kým obor stále tancoval, kráľ nariadil všetkým Zrnkám Rilonatu, aby naňho hádzali veci. Keďže celý čas obra len kŕmili, jediné, čo so sebou mali, bolo jedlo, a tak naňho hádzali aspoň to.
Obor sa snažil zjesť čo najviac jedla, ktoré naňho hádzali, ale nedokázal vyrovnať zúrivé tempo, akým naňho Zrnká Rilonatu jedlo hádzali. Otočil sa a odišiel od nich, mieriac smerom, kde ležalo Kráľovstvo Tyče. Keďže Zrná Rilonatu hádzali na obra tak veľa jedla, bez ohľadu na to, kam stúpil, pošliapal ho. S každým krokom sa viac a viac jedla rozpleslo na jeho chodidlách. Zrnká Rilonatu jasali a tlieskali a poskakovali hore a dolu, keď obor pokračoval smerom k Tyči! Obor sa otočil a pozrel na Zrnká, takže prestali jasať a pripravili sa hádzať na obra ďalšie jedlo. Ale obor sa nevrátil; pokračoval smerom, ktorým mal namierené, na Kráľovstvo Tyče.
Tak sa Zrnká Rilonatu pustili do veľkolepej oslavy! Dúfali, že akonáhle obor dosiahne Kráľovstvo Tyče, rozpučí Zrnká Tyče,ktoré boli takou obtiažou Kráľovstvu Rilonatu. Kráľ Rilonat predniesol pozdvihujúci prejav:
"Tak to by sme mali, čo sa obra týka! Myslím, že sprostému kolosu dlhujeme našu vďaku, pretože zakrátko pošliape Zrnká Tyče a urobí z nich kašu! Jeho obrovská noha okamžite rozdrví nášho odvekého nepriateľa. Rozpučení pod tým mamutím monštrom, z tých neznesiteľných bastardov nezostane viac než špina, ktorou vždy boli. Sme naveky zachránení od ich neznesiteľného fňukania, vysmievania a ponižovania. Ten slaboduchý titan je našim národným hrdinom! Detinský hlupáčik, bude najvýznamnejšou postavou rilonatských dejín. Na celom Ogdillovi sa nič nevyrovná jeho tupohlavej rozľahlosti, ale konečne nám pomohol. Neuveriteľne hlúpy gargantuan, je koniec - koncov dobré, že sme sa ho zbavili. A predpokladám, že by sme tomu prostoduchému monštru mali byť vďační, že nepošliapal aj nás. Nenapadá ma žiadny dôvod, prečo by sa sem mal vracať...vás?"
Medzitým Zrnká Tyče začuli obra ešte predtým, než ho uvideli. Každý jeho krok rozochvel ruinami pokrytý povrch Ogdilly ako blanu bubna. Zhŕkli sa do vystrašených skupiniek, čoraz viac a viac rozrušených, ako sa rámus približoval. A potom ho uvideli! Uvideli jeho prstencovitú hlavu, jeho veľké pery, a bodce trčiace mu z hrude. Ale čo na nich urobilo najväčší dojem, boli jeho nohy. Vlastne, čo na nich najväčší dojem urobilo v skutočnosti, bolo, čo mal nalepené na chodidlách. Všetko to jedlo, čo pošliapal, vyzeralo nechutne, ale Zrnká Tyče nevedeli, že je to jedlo. Zrnká stuhli v ohromenom tichu. Vedeli, že obor prišiel smerom od Kráľovstva Rilonatu. Od toho bodu to prenechali fantázii.
Zrnká Tyče boli presvedčené, že obor Zrnká Rilonatu udupal na kašu. Ako sa obor približoval, davom sa rozšírilo, že obor skoncoval so Zrnkami Rilonatu a teraz prichádzal do ich kráľovstva, aby ušliapal aj ich. Niektoré zo Zrniek sa s krikom rozutekali; ale väčšina sa nepohla, vediac, že nemôžu utiecť obrovým strašným nohám. Potom jedno Zrnko Tyče začalo tlieskať. Sprvu si Zrnká stojace vedľa neho, mysleli, že zošalel, ale po chvíli sa pridali. Čoskoro tlieskala malá skupinka. Potom tlieskala väčšina davu a začali jasať a skákať hore a dolu, kým sa obor približoval. Usúdili, že keď si obor bude myslieť, že sa tešia z toho, že Zrnká Rilonatu boli rozdupané na puding, obor ich ušetrí a bude súhlasiť s tým, že sa stane ich hrdinom.
Keď obor dosiahol dav, výskali a radovali sa ešte pár ďalších minút. Potom sa dav rozišiel a kráľ Tyč podišiel dopredu. A tam, pred svojím ľudom a obrovými nohami, prehovoril: "Ó, Veľký Obor! Ďakujeme ti, Mocná Kolosálna Spriatelená Vec, že si pošliapal Zrnká Rilonatu a spravil z nich kašu! Tvoja obrovská noha v mihu rozdrvila nášho dávneho nepriateľa. Rozmliaždení pod tvojim mamutím telom, títo nevýslovní ohydioti (ohyzdní idioti) boli zdegradovaní na špinu, ktorú vždy predstavovali. Sme navždy zachránení od ich neprestajného fňukania, vysmievania a ponižovania. Ty, Veľkolepý Titan, si naším národným hrdinom! Ó, Zabijácky Poskakovač, budeš najväčšou z postáv dejín Tyče. Na celom Ogdillovi sa nikto nevyrovná tvojej famóznej veľkosti. Ty, Úchvatný Gargantuan veeeeeľmi veľký tvor, budeš podo mnou zastávať druhé miesto, pokiaľ, samozrejme, nechceš byť prvý. Mimochodom, ďakujeme ti, fenomenálny gigant, veľmi ti ďakujeme, že si nepošliapal aj nás. Môžem ti ponúknuť len naše skromné kráľovstvo, Úžasné Monštrum, ako odmenu za nádherný čin, ktorý si dnes vykonal. Nie je to, samozrejme, kráľovstvo hodné tvojej monumentálnej veľkoleposti; nebude sa ti veľmi páčiť. Pravdepodobne sa ti nebude páčiť nič z toho, čo ti môžeme ponúknuť, keďže je to všetko nepatrné v porovnaní s tvojou gigantickou rozľahlosťou. Ale isteže, všetko, čo máme, je tvoje, ale neviem, čo s tým budeš robiť. Pýtam sa, rozumieš mi?"
Obor sa usmial na Zrnká Tyče, ktoré sa usmiali naňho, pokým k nim neprehovoril. Zrnkám jeho hlas znel hlboko, pomaly a ťažkopádne. Vymenili si pohľady a pokrčili plecami. Zrnká Tyče sa rozhodli každý vrátiť k tomu, čo robili, než prišiel obor. Ako odchádzali, neprestávali sa obzerať ponad plece, aby sa uistili, že obor nedvíha jednu zo svojich veľkých nôh, aby po nich šliapal. Z miesta, kde stál, sa nepohol a usmieval sa, kým sa im nestratil z dohľadu.
Na druhý deň bol obor na tom istom mieste, kde ho Zrnká Tyče zanechali, len s tým rozdielom, že sedel. Tak sa Zrnká vrátili k svojim každodenným povinnostiam a občas sa obzreli na obra, aby sa uistili, že sa nerozhodol vstať. Toto sa niekoľko dní nezmenilo. Nakoniec sa obor postavil a začal niektoré Zrnká nasledovať. Zdalo sa, že ich pozoruje, ako sa venujú svojim každodenným činnostiam. Vždy, keď ich pozoroval, sa usmieval, len už nie tak zoširoka. Deň po dni, mesiac po mesiaci, sezónu po sezóne sa díval, ak obrábajú svoje polia, od sadby po zber.
Pri zbere úrody si mnohé Zrnká všimli, aký chudý obor vyzerá a ako málo sa usmieva v porovnaní s tým, keď prišiel do Kráľovstva Tyče. Počas rozhovorov si uvedomili, že od jeho príchodu ho nikto nevidel nič jesť. Niekoľko Zrniek sa dalo dokopy a priniesli mu jedlo. Keď uvidel, že mu priniesli jedlo, obor sa zhrozil! Vstal a dal sa na útek, ďaleko od kráľovstiev Tyče a Rilonatu.
Nie je žiadny oficiálny záznam o tom, kedy sa obor naposledy ukázal alebo kto ho videl, ale zopár Zrniek z oboch Kráľovstiev tvrdí, že jedno skoré ráno videli obra stúpať do nebies niekoľko rokov po tom, čo ušiel z Kráľovstva Tyče.
Približne v čase obrovho úteku sa do Kráľovstva Tyče dostali špióni z Kráľovstva Rilonatu a uvideli, že Zrnká Tyče neboli vyhladené. Všimli si, že ich nepriatelia nemali ani jedinej modriny! Táto správa sa dostala ku Kráľovi Rilonatovi, ktorý bol šokovaný a zronený tým, že Zrnká Tyče zasa raz preľstili jeho Zrnkové kráľovstvo. Nariadil vyslať do Kráľovstva Tyče delegáciu a porozprávať sa vyslancami tohto Kráľovstva. Keď delegácia z Rilonatu dorazila do Tyče, spôsobila veľké prekvapenie a vzrušenie. "Vy predsa máte byť rozpučení!" povedal vyslanec Rilonatu. "To vy máte byť rozpučení!" povedal vyslanec Tyče.
Napätie rástlo a lietali obvinenia! Každá strana vinila tú druhú z pretvorenia najslávnejšieho prejavu ich Kráľa na kopu lží. Delegácie si navzájom odporúčali odkázať svojim zákonným Kráľom, že medzi ich ríšami nikdy nebude mier. Ako opúšťali stretnutie, všetci si na seba fúkali nosy! "Oobla Senchter Hakkt" bola späť v plnom rozsahu.
Kráľa Rilonatu už unavovali tisícročné naťahovačky medzi jeho Zrnkami a Zrnkami Tyče. V zúfalom pokuse o úsvit mierového dňa požiadal o tajné stretnutie s Kráľom Tyče uprostred Ogdillu. V tridsiatom štvrtom mesiaci na druhý deň, počas osemdesiateho deviateho roku tretieho tisícročia "Oobla Senchter Hakkt," sa Králi stretli. Dvaja králi jednali celé týždne v snahe nájsť spravodlivé riešenia pre obe kráľovstvá, ale bez výsledku. Medzitým, sám Ogdilla bol tak unavený nesvárom na svojom chrbte, až roztrúsil všetky Zrnká Tyče na jednu polovicu chrbta a všetky Zrnká Rilonatu na druhú. Za strašného otrasu sa Ogdilla rozdelil na dve bytosti, ktoré sa vznášali nezávislé jedna na druhej. Jediným problémom bolo, že Kráľ Tyče skončil na polovici obývanej Zrnkami Rilonatu, a Kráľ Rilonat na tej časti Ogdillu, kde žili Zrnká Tyče. Zo začiatku bol Kráľ Rilonatu zrnkami Tyče považovaný za Kráľa Tyče, ale rýchlo ich opravil a vyhlásil, že je Kráľ Rilonat. Zrnká Tyče ho okamžite rozsekali na kusy a nakŕmili nimi svoju mlaď. Na druhej strane, Kráľ Tyče povedal Zrnkám Rilonatu, že on je ich kráľ, a keďže iba málo Zrniek Rilonatu vôbec videlo svojho kráľa, uverili mu. Nakoniec Kráľ Tyče prikázal Zrnkám Rilonatu, aby mu postavili obrovský palác, kde ubytoval svoje deti, ktoré boli napoly Zrnkami Tyče a napoly Zrnkami Rilonatu. Kráľ Tyče, vystupujúci ako Kráľ Rilonat, videl ešte za svojho života splynúť svoje Zrnká v harmónii, kde sa to považovalo za nemožné.
Zrnká Rilonatu nepestovali na Ogdillovom chrbte jedlo za pomoci svojich slín ako Zrnká Tyče; namiesto toho treli svoje hlavy o jemné, vlasovité, tráve podobné výrastky, ktoré sa nachádzali na rilonatskej časti Ogdillovho chrbta. Trenie spôsobilo, že statické napätie rástlo a rástlo, pokým medzi hlavami Zrniek nepreskakovali drobné oblúky bleskov. Ogdillov vplyv bezprostrednej blízkosti oblúčikov bleskov reagoval premenou na kocky veľké ako jedno sústo s príchuťou limetových prstových pochúťok nejaká miestna špecialita, zaujíma ma, ako to asi môže chutiť. Toto bol jediný zdroj potravy pre Zrnká Rilonatu.
Každých 247 dní (toto bola dĺžka roku pre Zrnká Rilonatu, vybraná dohodou, pretože nemali ročné obdobia) Zrnká organizovali výročnú hostinu nazývanú "Fillange per Jungi." Veľký deň začínal Koncertom Trenia, kedy všetko obyvateľstvo Rilonatu, tak mladí ako aj starí, trelo svoje hlavy o vlasovité výbežky, kým neklesli kompletne vysilení, neschopní pohnúť prstom. Asi 3 hodiny po tomto ošiali sa niektorým Zrnkám podarilo pozbierať toľko síl, aby sa postavili. Potom samčie Zrnká započali Zber Kociek, kým samičie Zrnká pripravovali gastronomické potešenia ako napríklad: kockové fondue, kockový šalát, opekané kocky, kockovú polievku, kocku a kocku-na-tyčinke (pre deti), kockovú paštétu, kockové filé, kockový koláč, kockové korenie, kockovú plnku, údenú kocku, kockový kebab, kockový sorbet, smaženú kocku, kockový zákusok, smažený kockový zákusok, grilovanú kocku, kockovú sekanú, kocku s polevou, kockové Pandowdy, vyrenú kocku, údenú kocku, kockový Thermador, kocku-na-ľade (pre dospelých), parenú kocku, marinovanú kocku, a, samozrejme, Zuzankinu kockovú bublaninu. Kým sa lákavé vône pripravovaných jedál vznášali vzduchom, tí, ktorí nemali nič na práci našli čas, aby sa zapojili do hier "Fillange per Jungi" , ako napríklad: "Poď Sem," "Hej, Práve Si Narazil Do Lakťa Môjho Kamaráta," "To Tam Budeš Len Tak Stáť," a "Toto Je Moje Vedro." Deň vyvrcholil tancom "Fillange per Jungi", ktorý predvádzali ležiaci na chrbtoch s nohami otrčenými tak vysoko do vzduch, ako to len šlo a prvú cenu dostali tanečníci, ktorých nohy boli najvyššie.
Kráľ Tyč, o ktorom si Zrnká Rilonatu mysleli, že je Kráľom Rilonatom, využil príležitosť "Fillange per Jungi" aby započal svoju kampaň o znovuzvolenie, keďže dvanásť dní po pikniku mali byť voľby. Zrnká volili každý rok, ale na výber mali len dve možnosti: Kráľ Tyč Zelený Lístok alebo Kráľ Tyč Fialový Lístok. V každom prípade bol Kráľ Tyč znovuzvolený.
"Fillange per Jungi" bol Zrnkami Rilonatu zabudnutý Deň Uzmierenia. Vedeli, že časoch minulých bol pre Deň Uzmierenia konkrétne stanovený dátum, ale zabudlo sa naňho ešte predtým, než Kráľ Tyč nastúpil namiesto Kráľa Rilonata. Prinajmenšom vedeli, že nejaký Deň Uzmierenia vôbec existoval, ale Zrnká sa nevedeli rozpamätať, prečo sa vôbec uzmierovali. Po tom, čo na trón nastúpil Kráľ Rilonat, Zrnko nazývané Hefamut počas búrania zlievárne topánok našiel nejasnú historickú zmienku o Dni Uzmierenia nazývaného "Fillange per Jungi." Kráľovi radcovia kráľovi poradili vyhlásiť nový "Fillange per Jungi" a prikázať oddeleniu marketingu, aby vymyslelo nejaké zábavné veci, ktoré by sa počas tohoto dňa dali robiť. Nikto si nevedel spomenúť na nič, čo by sa týkali zmierenia, takže na deň sa pamätalo z veľkej miery iba kvôli každoročnej hostine a tancu.
Zrnká Rilonatu koniec jedného a začiatok druhého dňa určovali tak, že mali Dennú Rozhodkyňu, ktorá držala Rozhodný kameň v upaženej ruke. Keď už Denná Rozhodkyňa nedokázala udržať ruku upaženú, deň bol vyhlásený za skončený a kameň prebrala iná Rozhodkyňa. Byť Dennou Rozhodkyňou bola prestížna pocta, ale žiadnemu samičiemu Zrnku nebolo dovolené vykonávať túto funkciu viac ako raz za rok.
Zrnká Rilonatu sa sobášili v trojiciach... Dvaja ženísi a nevesta, alebo dve nevesty a ženích. V oboch prípadoch ten príslušník trojice s dvoma manželmi alebo manželkami musel svoje "polovičky" každý deň striedať, byť partnerom jednej alebo jednému, a na druhý deň druhej alebo druhému. Každý Zrnkový rok , keď sa cyklus obnovoval, začínal manžel alebo manželka, ktorí boli v predošlom roku o deň ukrátení. Riloantský svadobný obrad bol krátky a jednoduchý: tri Zrnká sa v určený deň dostavili pred Kráľa; každý vyriekol svoje prísahy, ktoré pozostávali iba zo sľubu dodržať zvyk striedania, a sľubu nikdy nezoškarednúť. Prísahy boli opakované takto: Kráľ sa každého Zrnka postupne opýtal: "Sľubuješ ty, ___, že nikdy nezoškaredneš?" Na čo postupne odpovedali, "Áno." Potom, napríklad pokiaľ bol jeden ženích a dve nevesty, riekol kráľ ženíchovi:
"Opakuj po mne. Ja, ___, si ťa beriem, ___, za jednu zo svojich zákonitých manželiek, a teba, ___, za druhú svoju zákonitú manželku."
Žiadosť o anuláciu podávala väčšinou jedna z neviest alebo jeden zo ženíchov (v prípade jednej nevesty a dvoch ženíchov) pretože sa cítili ukrivdení tým, že ona alebo on neboli v prísahe menovaní na prvom mieste. Dôvodom na rozvod bolo okradnutie jedného z manželov o spravodlivý podiel na manželstve po prestupnom roku, kedy deň navyše pripadlo manželovi, ktorý potom začínal ročný cyklus!
Bertbert
Quater vytvoril svojho ďalšieho tvora viac podobného jeho vlastnému vzhľadu. Pokúsil sa sám seba zduplikovať, ale pretože nebol tak dobrým tvorcom ľudí ako Otec, tvor nebol dokonalou kópiou.
Bertbert dostal schopnosť rozprávať a uvažovať, ale nedokázal pochopiť, že sa od Quatera líši. Myslel si, že je Quater a okamžite vyrobil sedem vlastných korún a začal vytvárať vlastných ľudí podľa svojho obrazu. Pretože bol Bertbert v tvorení bytostí ešte horší ako Quater, každá generácia vyzerala horšie. Posledná generácia Bertbertových tvorov nebola ani nažive, vyzerali len ako kôpky mäsa.
Pôvod Bertberta:
Obdarený Quaterom mocou tvoriť, Bertbert, vo viere, že je sám Quater, stvoril ďalšieho Bertberta.
Tento druhý Bertbert stvoril Bredbada, chabý pokus o Bertberta; len s rečovou vadou.
Bredbad bol múdry tvor. "Najmúdrejší zo všetkých," hovorilo sa, aj keď nikto presne nevie, kto to povedal, ale zostalo mu to. Nespísal nič zo svojich môdrostí, ale jeho syn, Bridabrack Literát prepísal Bredbadove učenie...
Múdrosť Bredbad, syna Bertberta, syna Bertbert:
Nie som vo svojej podstat dobrý ani podstatne šťastný.
Ale ak padnem, je to vina môjho otca alebo mamy.
Bol som svedkom tisícov padlých.
Preto nie som šťastný.
Pre mňa sú to muky.
Nad tým budem uvažovať, kým budem suchý a trpký.
Moc je príjemná, ak podávaná pod sklom, alebo jedená ako bažant, spôsobujúca zachrípnutie môjho hlasu.
Vrah nech je zabitý, tanečník nehybný. Keď mnoho včiel štípe moje srdce.
Hladujem... tenší, tenší... tenší.
Objavil som tieto tri cesty Bablonu:
1. STRACH- požiera sa ako had dolu kopcom a nachádza tam potravu.
Čím je väčší, tým viac žerie, kým nie je všade.
2. LAKOMOSŤ- Narozdiel od strachu sa zmenšuje, kým sa had nestane niečím nevýslovne drobným.
Páchne ako pochodeň, keď sa zmieša so vzduchom.
3. MÁRNIVOSŤ- Je had, ktorý si myslí, že má mocné nohy a môže preskočiť rieku. Hore bruchom pláva, keď sa chytí do tohoto osídla.
Budem s tebou zdieľať svoje pohnútky a úvahy, pokaľ budeš počúvať.
Budeš mi spoločníkom na týchto cestách, ak sa poponáhľaš. Skazíme sa ak budeš otáľať.
Bredbad, bez akejkoľvek predlohy okrem seba, stvoril Bridabracka Literáta.
Ktorý stvoril Bickbacka. Bickback bol na svoj vek chudý a jeho rovesníci sa mu vysmievali kvôli fialovým a zeleným škvrnám, ktoré pokrývali jeho telo.
Keď sa vytvoril rozľahlý dav potomkov, ktorých si vytvoril Bertbert, úbohý Bickback musel sedieť vzadu.
Svoj smútok sa pokúsil zakryť predtieraním, že sa vzadu na okraji davu páči. A tam sa stretol so zvyškom zadného okraja davu. Boli to poľutovaniahodné stvorenia trpiace telesnými neduhmi bezmála tak zlými ako jeho škvrny.
Vzdialený bratranec menom Hiface sa ponúkol, že sa postaví za Bickbacka, aby to vyzeralo, že nestojí na absolútnom okraji, ale Bickback sa rozhodol napodobniť krutosť zvašku davu vyzdvihovaním Hifaceovej abnormálnosti - drobnej druhej hlavy, ktorá mu vyrastala z dlane. Spieval pieseň o veci skrýcajúcej vec vo svojej dlani. Všetci sa chvíľu Hifaceovi smiali a chválili Brickbacka za jeho zábavné a smiešne verše.
Hiface sa postavil Bickbackovi ohľadne tejto ukážky krutosti, ale Bickback sa znova pustil do spevu, kým Hiface neušiel s plačom domov.
Dav uznal Bickackov ostrovtip, ale ešte vždy ho nechceli pustiť do čela davu kvôli tým nepekným škvrnám. Bickback dostal nápad.
Jedného rána Bickback strávil dlhý čas pokusmi zakryť svoje škvrny. Obaľoval sa prachom, kým ho jeho rovesníci nezačali považovať za krásneho. Rýchlo ho odviedli do čela davu, kde mu bolo prikázané písať ďalšie pesničky o tvoroch na zadnom okraji davu. Bickback písal piesne plné krutosti a predsudkov o každom z nich. Každom, teda, okrem jedného v zadnom rade. Dúfal, že dav si nevšimne, ako úmyselne prehliadol svojho brata, Lytla, ktorý bol retardovaný a teda na samom konci zadného radu. Ale niekto to postrehol:
"Teraz, Bickback, dajme si pesničku o Lytlovi!!!" zakričal dav.
Pomysleli si, že Bickback odkladal pieseň o Lytlovi na koniec, keďže bude najsmiešnejšia a bude sa najľahšie písať, keď vezmeme do úvahy tému.
Bickback sa ponad hlavy zástupu pozrel na Lytla, ktorý iba zízal do zeme. Lytle bol v očiach svojho brata úbohý a Bickback ho nenávidel pre jeho nedokonalosť.
Bickback podišiel k svojmi slintajúcemu a veľmi hlúpo vyzerajúcemu bratovi. Lytle ho spoznal a chcel ho zo všetkých síl objať, ako to vždy robieval. Lytle sa natiahol a objal Bickbacka so slovami: "Ly'le mať rád Bicks!"
Dav z Lytla reval smiechom. Považovali jeho drzosť objímať niekoho z prvého radu za typický prejav jeho hlúposti. Zahanbený, Bickback zhodil Lytla na zem a nazval ho zvieraťom.
Lytle bol v šoku a rozplakal sa. Bickback sledoval, ako mu slintá na ruky. Sliny zmyli časť jeho prachového maskovania a odhalili tak strašné a nenávidené škvrny. Bickback sa otvorene rozplakal s čelom opretým o zem. Lytle sa k nemu priplazil a objal ho. Dav sa cítil nepríjemne, nekto nevedel, čo robitť. Potom si Bickback utrel oči a vyhlásil: "Mám pieseň o úbohých členoch zadného konca davu!"
Tí stojaci na zadnom okraji pochopili, že to bude jeho vôbec najosočujúcejšia pieseň. Predný rad sa zaradoval. Lytle slintal.
Bickback spieval tak nádherným hlasom, že do dnešného dňa sa nikomu nepodarilo napísať pieseň, ktorá by sa jej vyrovnala. Spieval toto:
V živote som zistil jednu vec.
Že spievam o stelesnení úbohosti.
Počuli ste o zadnom konci radu.
A zopakoval som to poriadne nahlas.
Že ich ospravedlnením je, že sú zvieratá -
Nešťastní čudáci, ktorých využijeme -
ako rebrík na urýchlenie náško vzostupu -
Do čela davu, kde vymyslíme
prísny systém krásy a nekrásy
Na ktorú stranu siete sa chytíme.
Prosím, pošlite ma do zadného radu
Pre mňa za mňa môže začiatok ísť aj do pekla
So svojimi štandardmi založenými na svojej malej skupinke
Ak mám na výber medzi prijatím mnohých a málom
Budem s radoťou iným a prijmem celý dav
Budem spievať o mojom svete dlho a hlasno
V mojom svete my nízky budeme vysokými
A Braček Lytle je najväčší zo všetkých.
Celý dav stíchol, keď Bickback podišiel k svojmu bratovi a objal ho. Do ucha mu zašepkal: "Je mi to tak ľúto. Bol som veľký hlupák."
Lytle stále len slintal. Niektorí členovia davu sa zaradovali a začali sa medzi sebou objímať.
Ale niektorí nie a všetok svoj čas vynaložili na snahu znova vymedziť hranice medzi čelom a zadom davu.
Bickback žil šťastný život, vzal si Phyllis, zdráhavú malú dámu, tiež zo zadného okraja davu.
Mali spolu Mak Moka, čo znamená "nízko je vysoko."
Mak Mok splodil Mak Maka.
Ktorý splodil Mak Maka.
Ktorý splodil Mak Maka.
Mak Mak bol vysoký kamoš Mak Moka.
It took all of Mak Mak's strength to pry the two halves apart. A when Mammur finally split, it sent the crowbar hurtling von do vesmíru. As soon as the two half-beings saw that they were no longer a singular whole, they started trying to put themselves back together again, and they have been trying to put themselves back together ever since.
Mammur (or Meen and Mavi) then begat Maumat.
A synovia Maumata boli Mau Much a Marzim a Mah Tup a Manaak.
A synovia Mau Mucha boli Mabes a Maliva a Magbas a Mamaar a Macetbas;
A synovia Mamaara boli Mabesh a Maded.
Now Maded became the father of Moremin; who became a mighty florist in his town. He was a mighty florist before Quater; therefore it is said, "Like Moremin, a mighty florist before Quater."
And the beginning of his kingdom consisted of Daisyworld and Rosebud and Tulipcrime, in the land of Ranish. From that land he went forth into Milpitas, and built H'voney and Tt and Hoot, and Ressinsessin between H'voney and Tt; that is the great city.
And Moremin became the father of Midul and Mimana and Mibahel and Mihutphan and Misurthap and Mihulsack (from which came the peeons) and Mirotphack and MixtMath, the evil twins.
And Misurthap became the father of Modis, his first-born, and Math Bath and the Quergenites and the Lolo Men and the Fylo Dendrites and the Shrub people and the Klay Wanters and the Neo-Ressinsessinites and the Briv and the Manaakite; and afterward the families of the Manaakite were spread abroad. And the territory of the Manaakite extended from Nodis as you go toward Modoc, Delano, and Truckee and Chester and Alturas, as far as Lake Almanor. So these were the sons of Maumat, according to their families, according to their languages, by their lands, by their nations.
Modis then begat Mah Min, who decided to wear a purple hood instead of a crown.
Mah Min begat Mah Nih, who liked hoods a lot, but hated his father's purple hood; so in rebellion, he went back to the crown-wearing tradition of previous generations. This gesture pleased Quater so much that Mah Nih was simply caught-up into the presence of Quater to live forever in peace with Father, but not before he was able to create a poor likeness of himself, May Nee.
Kto splodil Way Nee.
Who begat Fwah Gee (the founder of the famous Fwah Ah Nation.)
Who begat Fep At.
Who begat Fep Pee.
Who begat Feh, who liked to sing loving songs for his sons. He sang by expelling air from between five flaps of flesh on his back. Feh sang this way, as a sincere gesture of love for his many sons, but the perpetual honking and flapping of his songs echoed up to the ears of Quater, who, after many years of tolerance, could finally take it no more. Quater smote Feh with a bolt of energy so intense that nobody ever found a trace of his body. Feh was destroyed in the prime of his life, but not before he was able to create thirteen sons.
Feh's thirteen sons were: Klough, Kluff, Klau, Klimt, Kleft, Klak, Klink, and five sons all of whom Feh named Kloppenhomwinwitz, because he could not think of another name until the birth of his last son, Klee.
In the Fwah Legends are the stories of Feh and his thirteen sons.
Feh's favorite son was named Klee (meaning, "give me more like this one").
Feh often had his sons watch the FwaCattle herd in an attempt to teach them the value of hard work, and the responsibility of caring for the herd. FwaCattle had three genders: female; hemale; and threemale (threemales had the gender characteristics of all three genders). When the females were nursing they exuded FwaGerkins from their hide. FwaGerkins were the staple of the Fwah Ah diet. Klee was the youngest of Feh's sons, yet he was also the most responsible, and he was the only one who listened when Feh spoke to his sons the legends Feb Pee had told him of Father and Quater.
The other sons spent most of their time listening to their father's songs, but avoiding work, dreaming of ways to spend their inheritance as soon as their father died. On the other hand, Klee spent his time tending the family herd of FwaCattle with such care that many thought it was his own herd. It was the largest herd of FwaCattle in the nation of Fwah Ah, next to the Emperor's own herds, and Feh certainly appreciated Klee's care.
To show his appreciation, he slaughtered his finest FwahCalf and had the hide made into a fine pair of shorts for Klee. Feh's other sons considered Klee an obstacle to their fun, so they started spending a portion of their time planning ways to get rid of him.
When Klee was out herding the FwaCattle with his brothers, he would often bring back a bad report to his father of how the other sons abused the herd and often secretly sold FwaGerkins for their own profit. Klee boldly told his brothers that while they were dreaming up ways to avoid work, he was dreaming of being Emperor of Fwah Ah. This got on their nerves, and after much plotting, they did finally came up with a plan to get rid of Klee.
When he came out to the Plains of Choppen to check up on them, they grabbed him and sewed him and his fine shorts to the back of a FwaBull. The brothers then traded Klee and the FwaBull to some Choppenpops for some stewed pods. They took these back to Feh and explained that Klee had been trampled in a FwaStampede, and that the pods were all that was left of their brother.
Feh mourned for 88 years the death of his favorite son, Klee. Meanwhile, the Choppenpops, never noticing Klee sewn to the back of their new FwaBull, traded it to the Emperor's herdsmen for a pack of Gaza Smokes.
Now, an Emperor likes a clean herd of FwaCattle, so his herdsmen scrubbed the FwaCattle daily. While they were scrubbing the new FwaBull that Klee was sewn to, they noticed him crying out and begging to be released. The herdsmen released Klee to the custody of Portenchipa, the Emperor's bodyguard.
Portenchipa made Klee his butler, and Klee took on the responsibility much as he did with his father's herd of FwaCattle. Portenchipa was not home much, what with all the responsibilities of his own job, but when he was home, he did not fail to notice Klee's meticulous care of the house and household matters. He actually did a better job than Portenchipa would have done himself. Portenchipa would have been jealous, but he enjoyed the spare time too much.
In these days, each time Portenchipa had been out on one of his many trips away from home with the Emperor, his wife, Pettenpipa, started making eyes at Klee the way she should only be making eyes at Portenchipa. Klee was no fool, he knew what Pettenpipa was up to, so he warned her with the warning his mother always used. He said, "If you don't stop making eyes like that, they're going to get stuck that way."
Pettenpipa could not stand to be rejected, so she kept making eyes at Klee, and sure enough, her eyes got stuck. She lied to Portenchipa when he came home that night and told him Klee had dressed up like Portenchipa just to get her to make eyes at him. Portenchipa beat Klee to within a foot span of his life, then threw him into jail.
Ale Quater nezabudol na Klee.
Klee once again prospered because of his faithful conduct.
After the jailer beat Klee to within a half foot span of his life, he put Klee in charge of all the prisoners who were in the jail, so that whatever was done there, he was responsible for it. The jailer did not superwise anything under Klee's charge because whatever Klee did always prospered.
Klee often told the other prisoners the stories of Father and Quater that he had heard as a boy. Then it came about after these things that the Emperor's nephew offended the Emperor by besting him at liver juggling. The Emperor was furious with his nephew, so he took away his status of Emperor's nephew, gave it to some guy who happened to be walking by, and put his nephew in confinement in the jail, the same place where Klee was imprisoned. And the jailer put Klee in charge of the Emperor's former nephew, and he took care of him; and he was in confinement for some time.
Then the Emperor's ex-nephew who was confined in jail, had a terrible time sleeping one night. He tossed and turned all night long. When Klee came to him in the morning and observed him, behold, he was down hearted. And he asked the former Emperor's nephew who was with him in confinement in jail, "Why is your face so sad today?" Then the former nephew said to him, "Are you blind? Just look at my hair; I've got Bed-head and there is no one to interpret it!" He said this because in the Kingdom of Feb, Bed-head interpretations are used to foretell the future. Then Klee said to him, "Do not interpretations belong to Quater? Let me study your Bed-head, please."
Then Klee said to him, "This is the interpretation of your Bed-head: this afternoon the Emperor will restore you to the position of Emperor's nephew and have you released from jail. Now, please do me a kindness by mentioning me to the Emperor, and get me out of this jail. For I was in fact kidnapped from the land of Fwah Ah, and even here I have done nothing that they should have put me into jail."
That afternoon the Emperor declared that his nephew who was in jail should be restored to the position of Emperor's nephew. When the Emperor was asked what should be done with the guy to whom he, the Emperor, had given the "nephew status," the Emperor said to throw him in jail instead. The Emperor's nephew did not remember Klee, in fact he forgot him. But Quater did not forget Klee.
Now it happened at the end of two full years, that the Emperor woke up one morning with Bed-head, and his spirit was troubled, so he sent and called for all the interpreters. And the Emperor had them study his Bed-head, but there was no one who could interpret it to the Emperor.
Then the Emperor's nephew spoke up, saying, "I would make mention today of my own offenses. The Emperor was furious with me, and he put me in confinement in the jail. And I woke up one morning with Bed-head. Now a Fwah Ah youth was with me there, a servant of the jailer, and he studied my Bed-head, and he did interpret it for me. And it came about that just as he interpreted for me, so it happened; I was restored to my status as Emperor's nephew."
Then the Emperor sent and called for Klee, and they hurriedly brought him out of the jail. And when he had shaved himself from head to toe (that is how one was presented to the Emperor in those days) and changed his clothes, he came to the Emperor. And the Emperor said to Klee,
"I presume that you can see I have Bed-head, and no one here can interpret it; but I have heard it said about you, that when you study a Bed-head you can interpret it."
Klee then answered the Emperor, saying, "It is not in me; interpretations of Bed-head belong to Quater."
The Emperor said to Klee, "Behold, study my Bed-head."
Now Klee said to the Emperor, "A terrible drought is coming. It is going to cause sky-rocketing inflation and a shortage of FwaGerkins and FepGerkins, throw the land into a panic, raise prices and drop interest rates. But not before there is a huge surplus of FepGerkins.
Now let the Emperor look for a man discerning and wise, and set him over the land of Fep. Let the Emperor take action to appoint overseers in charge of the land, and let him exact a fifth of the FepGerkins of the land of Fep in the time of surplus. Then let them gather all the FepGerkins of this surplus and store them up, and let them guard it. And let the surplus become as a reserve for the land during the drought which will occur in the lands of Fwah Ah and Fep, so that the land may not perish during sky-rocketing inflation."
The Emperor said, "Wow! All that was in my Bed-head?"
Then he said to his servants, "Can you believe a man like this guy Klee?"
So the Emperor said to Klee, "Since you've got all the answers, you shall be over my house, and according to your command all my people shall do homage; only in the throne I will be greater than you. See, I have set you over all the land of Fep."
Then the Emperor took off his shorts (he had undershorts on underneath, for cryin' out loud!), and put them on Klee.
And he had him ride on his second vehicle; and the servants proclaimed before him, "Bow the knee!" And he set him over all the land of Fep.
Moreover, the Emperor said to Klee, "Though I am the Emperor, yet without your permission no one shall raise his hand or foot or left eyebrow in all the land of Fep." And he gave him Gail, the daughter of a guy he beat in a game of wagon-hurling the previous day.
Thus, Klee became prime minister of the neighboring Kingdom of Fep.
After the period of surplus in Fep, Feh's land dried-up and the FwaHerds wandered away, and a shortage of FwaGerkins threw the land of Fwah Ah into a panic, raising prices and dropping interest rates.
The Feh boys: Klough, Kluff, Klau, Klimt, Kleft, Klak, Klink, and five sons all of whom Feh named Kloppenhomwinwitz because Feh could not think of another name until the birth of his last son, Klee, were forced to trek out to Fep and trade their prized ChoppenMettle statues for FepGerkins, dreading the odious FepAftertaste.
The Fwah Ah hate FepGerkins, to them they are "dirty." The Fwah are so conditioned to despise FepGerkins that just thinking of the FepAftertaste causes a physical reaction.
Simply seeing a FepGerkin has been known to cause a Fwah Ah to go pale and become woozy. The odor of FepGerkins sets off the gag reflex.
It is common to hear a Fwah Gentleman say, "I'd rather eat the refuse of my worst enemy than eat FepGerkins." To which another might respond, "Oh yeah? I'd rather poke myself in the eyes with six inch rusty spikes than eat a lousy FepGerkin."
To which another might reply, "Well, I'd rather eat my own head-innards, after they'd been sucked out through my eye sockets by a great naturally occurring vacuum, than eat FepGerkins."
Still, another might say, "I'd rather have a fullbody massage from a servant girl named Hela than eat FepGerkins." To which everyone would respond, "Huh?"
If a Fwah Ah wants to insult another Fwah Ah, a popular saying is, "Your mother eats FepGerkins!"
It is considered very naughty behaviour for Fwah Ah youngsters to even talk about FepGerkins. The controversial Fwah Ah comedian, Loody Kincaid, once performed an entire live routine of nothing but FepGerkin jokes; of course it was an adults-only performance and was banned in most towns.
All the people of Fwah Ah, including Feh and his sons, realized they would have to choke down the FepGerkins (and most likely vomit a few times after eating the first three or four) or face certain starvation.
Now Klee was the ruler over the land; he was the one who sold to all the people of the land. And Klee's brothers came and bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. When Klee saw his brothers he recognized them, but he disguised himself to them and spoke to them with cotton in his cheeks.
His brothers ordered twelve and a half cases of FepGerkins. Then Klee gave orders to fill the cases with shorts of great value. And thus it was done for them. So the brothers loaded their FwaOxen with the twelve and a half cases and departed from there.
At the border, Klee had his police stop his brothers.
The head policeman said, "May I see your receipt, please?" Klough, the eldest, handed over the receipt to the officer. "Says here you bought twelve and a half cases of FepGerkins. Mind if we take a look inside these here cases?"
Klough agreed to let the police search the cases. When these were opened the police of course found the priceless shorts. The brothers were stunned, to say the least; their hearts sank, and they turned trembling to one another, saying, "What's up with that?"
So the police escourted the sons of Feh back to Klee's house. The brothers thought they were done for, but when Klee saw them he invited them in and fed them delicious snacks prepared with FepGerkins, of course.
While they were eating (after having thrown up at least twice each) Klee had their cases of FepGerkins filled with the finest FepShoelaces, such as only the Emperor's family would wear. After dinner, Klee released his brothers (who still did not recognize him) to go on their way home.
At the border, Klee had his police stop his brothers.
The head policeman said, "May I see your receipt, please?" Klough, the eldest, handed over the receipt to the officer. "Says here you bought twelve and a half cases of FepGerkins. Mind if we take a look inside these here cases?"
Klough agreed to let the police search the cases. When these were opened the police of course found the precious shoelaces. The brothers were stunned, to say the least; their hearts sank, and they turned trembling to one another, saying, "What's up with that?"
So the police escourted the sons of Feh back to Klee's house. The brothers thought they were done for, but when Klee saw them he invited them in and had them join him in the pool.
While they were in the sauna, after swimming, he had their cases of FepGerkins filled with priceless gauges. After they had all dried off, Klee released his brothers (who still did not recognize him) to go on their way home.
At the border, Klee had his police stop his brothers.
The head policeman said, "May I see your receipt, please?" Klough, the eldest, handed over the receipt to the officer. "Says here you bought twelve and a half cases of FepGerkins. Mind if we take a look inside these here cases?"
Klough agreed to let the police search the cases. When these were opened the police of course found the precious gauges. The brothers were stunned, to say the least; their hearts sank, and they turned trembling to one another, saying, "What's up with that?"
So the police escourted the sons of Feh back to Klee's house. The brothers thought they were done for, but when Klee saw them he had them come in and watch a play performed in mime in his private home theater, then he had them spend the night.
While they were sleeping, he had their cases of FepGerkins filled with hewminallinterfatch (which is a lot like a food). In the morning, after breakfast, Klee released his brothers (who still did not recognize him) to go on their way home.
But Klau, the smartest brother, said, "Before we go, I'd like to look in these cases of FepGerkins."
When he opened one up, of course he found the hewminallinterfatch. He exclaimed, "What is up with that?"
Klee knew he had to let his brothers in on his little deception. Klee said, "I'm Klee!" And the brothers responded. "Who?"
Then Klee took the cotton balls out of his cheeks and told them the whole story. He said, "It goes like this:
When I came out to the Plains of Choppen to check up on you, you grabbed me and sewed me and my fine shorts to the back of a FwaBull. Then you traded me and the FwaBull to some Choppenpops for some stewed pods..."
Klee's brothers went back to Fwah Ah and returned to Fep with their father, Feh, who lived there for only a few years until Quater eventually smote him with a bolt of energy.
In all, the Feh family lived in Fep 410 years.
Klee, having become ruler of all the land of Fep, was compelled by his people to change his name to Fay Nee, which means, "Most of which still do not agree."
Fay Nee splodil Fay Nee.
Kto splodil Wah Nee.
Who begat Acker, who looked nothing like his father, Wah Nee, but nonetheless, managed to create Ehp.
Like many generations before him, Acker sang to Ehp every night over his crib using the flaps in his back, in the tradition of Feh. Acker showed all of the love a good parent should show his offspring. He often stared into Ehp's face for hours until his eyes grew dry and tired. Ehp was full of kindness and generosity, taught by Acker and likely nurtured by his grandfather, Wah Nee.
One day, while Ehp and his grandfather were on a long trip to the Boneyard, Wah Nee grew ill. Wah Nee asked Ehp to stay with him until he returned home to Father, for he was afraid. Ehp daubed Wah Nee's brow with a cool cloth given to him by Acker. Quater opened the sky and let Wah Nee enter. This was the first time Ehp had seen Quater who was far more marvelous than the legends told.
Ehp grew to be a strong and handsome being, much closer in likeness to Bertbert than any generation before him.
Ehp became a mighty leader of other beings who saw that he was in favor with Quater.
Just as everybody thought that the whole "each-generation-gets-worse" thing had finally turned around, Ehp's own creation came out looking like a pile of something badly burned, so he named it, "Uh Uh."
Uh Uh was not alive, so it could not begat anything.
Numeron
Quater decided to make a being of greater substance than any of his previous creations. Numeron looks like a pile of cubes. He was obsessed with being sensible and correct in everything, following the rules to the letter. Numeron rarely did anything on his own without asking Quater for his explicit directions.
Numeron loved his crown and wore it with much pride - perhaps a little too much pride. He made three hundred duplicates of himself whom he would boss around, all day, every day.
Tu sú niekoľkí z ich rodokmeňa:
The first-born of Numeron was Nabris, a clone of Numeron.
The first-born of Nabris was Thopo Bean the Similar, then Leebda, Masbim, Mishmash, Hamduh, Bim, Dad, Eemat, Juter, Big Eefish, Shiphann, and Hamdeck; These were the sons of Nabris.
And the sons of Thopo Bean were Narmiz, Jok, Gok, Wim, Nyeby, Itchy Itch, Kashi, and Chipchape.
A synovia Nyebya boli Abesh a Naded.
A synovia Itchy Itcha boli Haphe, Rephe Macincrog, Adiba, Inkerkrog, a Haa. All these were the sons of Thopo Bean the Similar.
A Numeron bol otcom Numerona Juniora.
Synovia Numerona Juniora boli Lee Mimba a Suppanuppa.
Synovia Lee Mimba boli Zaphile, Loiter, Sho Horf, Malagasket, a Harok.
Synovia Zaphila boli Namet, Ramo, Eye Fez, Maytag, Zanek, Anmit, a Kelama.
The sons of Loiter were Thahan, Harpinbarpin, Ham Mash, and Shasa.
A synovia Harpinbarpin boli Pies, Budd, Labopunky, Noebiz, Hana, Nosh B'Gosh, Reez, a Nashid.
A synovia Budda boli Iroh a Mamoh; a Natolova sestra bola Annie Nitnitnit.
Synovia Nosh B'Gosh boli Alen, Nunnybiz, The, Laybee, Yf, a Mano.
A synovia Nunnybiza boli Hoxokina-Giq a Sot, synovec Theho.
Syn Sota bol Noknok. A synovia Noknoka boli Narm, Nab, Narthi, a Nar a Reez.
Synovia Reeza boli Nalbo a Nazazanatab.
Synovia Nalba boli Zuh a Narakatangbaloof.
Now these are the kings who reigned in the land of Hecka before any king of the sons of Numeron Junior reigned.
Aleb was the son of Royendale, and the name of his city was Havtoo.
When Aleb died, Baburno the son of Hywya of Harzob became king in his place.
Keď Baburno died, Mashush of the land of the Nametites became king in his place.
When Mashush died, Dadah the son of Dadeb, who defeated Nidiam in the field of Baom, became king in his place; and the name of his city was Theam.
When Dadah died, Pe'halloo of Hackersam became king in his place.
When Pe'halloo died, Oowee of Thothot by the River became king in his place.
When Oowee died, Nanahball the son of Robcha by the Sea became king in his place.
When Nanahball died, Dadah became king in his place; and the name of his city was Iap, and his wife's name was Dimethicone, the daughter of Padimate, the daughter of Obenzone.
Potom Dadah zomrel.
Now the chiefs of Hecka were: chief Anmity, chief Emollient, chief Thethe, chief Hamabiloho, chief Hale, chief Nonip, chief Zanek, chief Namet, chief Razama, chief Le'nez, and chief Mari. These were the chiefs of Hecka.
Now Numeron paid little attension to the beings he had already made, rather he focused intently on new beings to create and neglect. Numeron made Nabris' brother, Abris, who was a pure-hearted obedient follower, in spite of the fact that Numeron ignored him.
Nabris became convinced that no one could be as good as Abris made himself appear, and he feared that Abris would eventually displease Quater, so Nabris, believing that Numeron was paying no attension, destroyed Abris by breaking-off all of the many antlers that covered Abris' back and neck.
This heinous act did, in fact, escape Numeron's notice, but Quater himself was watching, and he smote Nabris with permanent blindness.
Now the sons of Narcolon, the son of Numeron, were Leemhare, Mah, and Iabulech.
And Mah became the father of Badanimma.
And Badanimma became the father of Noshhan, leader of the sons of Narcolon;
Nashhan sa stal otcom Amlasa,
Amlas sa stal otcom Zoaba,
Zoab sa stal otcom Deboa,
a Debo sa stal otcom Essea;
A Esse sa stal otcom Bailea his first-born, then Badaniba the second, Aemish the third, Lenathen the fourth, Iaddar the fifth, Mezo the sixth, Hank the seventh; a ich sestry boli Huarez a Liagiba.
A traja synovia Huarezy boli Ashba, Box a Lehasa. And Liagiba bore Muddy-Bingpoody, and the father of Muddy-Bingpoody was Jethro the Nabrisite.
And Muddy-Bingpoody became the father of Bananagrunt, and Bananagrunt became the father of Nosuchluk, leader of the sons of Nodice;
Nosuchluk sa stal otcom Amwhata, Amwhat sa stal otcom Goatphlegma, Goatphlegm sa stal otcom Denturuptura, a Denturuptur sa stal otcom Cuptpta.
And Cuptpt became the father of Vque his first-born, then Hiwyekun the second, Tahnana the third, Bizwc the fourth, Iaata the fifth, Ntindo the sixth, Ngoink the seventh; and their sisters were Beachnoodle and Grahamlit.
And the three sons of Beachnoodle were Corpup, Pango, and Quitit. And Grahumus bore Azma, and the father of Azma was Othal the Obscure Prince.
Now the sons of Numero Benti, the son of Numeron, were Leintho and High Harry Hapsicomby. And the son of Leintho was ThatThat. And the son of ThatThat was Ath.
And Ath became the father of Oprah, and Harry became the father of Meesh Kapeesh, for they were craftsmen. And Meesh Kapeesh became the father of Nadarazuben.
Numeron was the father of Ni Ron. Ni Ron became the father of those who dwell in eight-by-fourteen-foot thatched huts and use Pygmy Shrimp Swabs. And his brother's name was N-Ron, who's food had to be pre-chewed by Ni Ron.
N-Ron became the father of all those who celebrate in Numeron's birthday parade, playing the Pinkerkrogg and the Ngtoilibong.
Numeron became the father of Numby.
Then Numeron became the father of Nasak the Great.
And Numeron was the father of Kilfax, who just sat there.
One year, Numeron lost half of his beings off of a cliff. They were on one of their morning marches when the ground fell out from under one of the leaders, and half of the others followed before Numeron noticed their peril, and was able to convince the rest to turn back.
Though one hundred and fifty beings marched straight off the cliff, not all of these perished. Many were some of Numeron's heartiest creations. The two that were the strongest and came through the fall most intact were Numby and Nasak the Great.
The fall landed Numeron's beings in the Trench of Aramoose.
There, Numby and Nasak set up kingdoms: The Twin Kingdoms of Numby and Nasak. This did not go unnoticed by Numeron. He saw that as soon as the surviving beings thought that they were outside the presence of Numeron, they forgot him and his world.
They began their own societies. Numeron observed their wickedness and saw that it was great. Numeron was sorry that he ever made any beings at all.
He said to himself, "Not only do I have to keep cracking the whip, so to speak, over these beings night and day, but to top it all off, as soon as I am out of their sight they forget me! At least I still have one hundred and fifty to keep under my thumb; and believe me I will. The rest of these I can destroy; I'll cause a catastrophic explosion throughout the Trench. That'll show them!"
But Numeron saw that Numby was a blameless creature. Numby was a righteous king; in fact, he was the only being in the Trench of Aramoose that remembered Numeron. (They called it the Trench of Aramoose because of the swit trees that grow there; the actual name of the trench was "Great Canyon of the Ruins of Desolation Number Five.")
He tried and tried for twelve and a half years to remind the subjects in his modest little kingdom about the past, but since Numeron would not take the time to make himself known, they would not remember him.
His subjects thought Numby was a fine king, but they would not heed his warning that their creator would not tolerate their corruption forever.
Nasak the Great, on the other hand, did not think Numby was a fine king. He considered Numby and his preaching about Numeron a nuisance. Nasak's kingdom grew every day, filling more and more of the Trench. The southern sector extended from the wilderness of Zinniflox along the side of Eebisimperut. Then the south side was from the edge of Hapalanche, and the border went westward and went to the fountain of the waters of Neopithm. And the border went down to the edge of the hill which is in the valley of Bonablink, which is in the valley of Buppabumjoy northward; and it went down to the valley of Dycyoonwang, to the slope of the Oonja Wapoong southward, and went down to Boke. And it extended northward and went to Sabboota and went to Soysinga, which is opposite the ascent of Eenta Nina, and it went down to the stone of Ru the son of Lu. And it continued to the side in front of the Left-Handed-Fletchy northward, and went down to the Left-Handed-Fletchy. And the border continued to the side of Hoglah-Doglah northward; and the border ended at the north bay of the Stinky Sea, at the south end of the Helio-Hogma. Moreover, the Helio-Hogma was its border on the east side. And the southern border extended from the end of the Stinky Sea eastward. Then the border turned direction from the south to the ascent of Akakak Inzeeba, and continued to Ziniflox, and its termination was to the south of Radish-Barnmold; and it reached Huzz, and continued to Itzabiggy, even unto the great river that is called "Mifflewimx-the-Uncrossable-Except-in-a-Couple-of-Places-Where-It-Gets-Slow-and-Shallow," and unto the Early Risers Clubhouse. And the border turned direction from Hey Wait to the brook of Ptyge, and its termination was at the sea.
As for the western border, it was the Amazing Colossal Sea, that is, its coastline; this was the western border.
And this was the north border: they drew the border line from the Amazing Colossal Sea to Mount Pephilter. They drew a line from Mount Pephilter to the Hotus-Kelley. Then the border went up to the side of Hntma on the north, and went up through the hill country westward; and it ended at the wilderness of Cannbens. And from there the border continued to Quelp, to the side of Quelp (that is, Reflecklel) southward; and the border went down to Atimantshoe, near the hill which lies on the south of lower Surgurt. And the border extended from there, and turned round on the west side southward, from the hill which lies before Surgurt southward; and it ended at Sour-bead (that is, Sour-knobel), a city of the sons of Meesh Kapeesh. And the termination of the border was at Blightensuch. This was the northern border.
Now the eastern border reached the border of Edupated, southward to the wilderness of Brain-Worm at the extreme south. Then it proceeded southward to the ascent of Quel From and continued to Brain-Worm, then went up by the south of Radish-Barnmold and continued to Larry, and went up to Rebaeton Perchis and turned about to Clarksdil. And it continued to Stew Lumps and proceeded to the brook of Fathering; then the border went up to Burn Dagit, and continued on the north of Undoubtedly Moister, which is opposite the ascent of Surmapleet, which is on the south of the valley; and the border continued to the waters of Housenploop. And the border went up to the top of the mountain which is before the valley of Twisted Balm, which is the end of the valley of Guarantaph toward the north. And from the top of the mountain the border curved to the spring of the waters of Rankness. And the border turned about from Bollixisix westward to Mount Dososky. They drew a line from Dososky to Shemp, and the border went down from Shemp to Reeply Engine on the east side of Hmhmhmhmhm, and continued towards Pylohylodylo (Which means, "I don't think I can put that much in my mouth."); and the border went down and reached the slope on the east side of the Sea of Often Fallen Into. And the border went down to the Fibrilatin and its termination was at the Stinky Sea.
This was Nasak the Great's land according to its borders all around.
His thriving cities were all decadent and vile, but that is what sells - that is what the people want. Thus his kingdom grew, even taking in droves of defectors from the good Kingdom of Numby.
Yet, still not content with his great wealth of power, riches and influence, he coveted the dry, rocky land of the Kingdom of Numby. Nasak plotted a war of conquest against Numby. Numeron saw all of this and knew that Numby's number was coming up. So he paid a visit to Numby to explain the catastrophic explosion.
Numby was alone when Numeron arrived. Numeron wanted to speak with Numby and his wife, Grace, so Numby went searching for her. The basement was flooded, so she was not there. She was in the attic, which in the Kingdom of Numby is called an "Izathelow." So Numby found her there, high and dry. They went together to the patio where Numeron addressed them:
"Numby, I am going to blow up this trench with all these vile beings in it. But I don't want to destroy you and Grace, so I want you to build a treehouse, where you can stay and remain safe during the explosion."
Numeron gave Numby a blueprint for the treehouse and described the exact location of the tree he wanted him to build it in. He also gave him very specific details for the construction of the treehouse. "You shall make the treehouse from weetby wood. It shall be a split-level treehouse with an enclosed foyer, gabled roof, with rough beam ceiling, bay windows in the living room and in the kitchen over the sink. All the measurements are here on the floorplan."
As Numby and Grace worked on the treehouse, their neighbors, who formerly thought of Numby as a fine king, came out to mock the construction of the treehouse.
Numeron had given Numby seven days to complete the construction of the treehouse, and he was nearly finished. By then, Nasak the Great had completed his plans for conquest and his armies were massed and marching toward the capitol of Numby.
Then King Numby and Grace entered the treehouse, as instructed ny Numeron.
Numeron detonated the catastrophic explosion, destroying all the beings but Numby and Grace in the Twin Kingdoms of Numby and Nasak the Great in the Trench of Aramoose.
Now this great explosion had disrupted the deep panels of the world. A hot, green substance belched forth from the cracks in the panels and filled the canyon. Numby and Grace watched as the "Hot Green" swirled around the foot of the tree. They were trapped. Now weetby wood is impossible to burn so they were safe as long as they did not leave the treehouse. Many days passed as Numby and Grace grew hungry.
One evening they looked out beyond the tree and sang a song to Numeron regarding their hunger:
" Noom noom Numeron,
send us food to chew-mer-on."
Numeron heard their plea, and he sent a great bird to nest in the tree in which the treehouse was build. Every morning the great bird laid a giant egg, which landed in Numby and Grace's bed. They gently cracked the eggs open to find five-course meals prepared, complete with a fine linen tablecloth, and brass candelabra.
They lived this way for many days until the "Hot Green" cooled to become just "Green." This new form of ground felt lovely to walk on.
They lived happily for many ages. Grace died one beautiful day, Numby died three days later.
Ottoborg
Quater vytvoril kráľa menom Ottoborg. Bol navrhnutý tak, aby bol veselý a plný šťastia každý deň.
Roboti boli predmetom ktorý mal Ottoborg hotový po mnohých výskumoch, takže bolo prirodzené, že vytvoril troch robotov, aby mu pomohli postaviť sedem malých domov. Mená robotov boli Appie, Togor, a Bil. Appie bol dobrý v hrabaní. Bil bol dobrý v stavaní a Togor bol dobrý v maľovaní; Preto, ak dnes niekto veľmi dobre maľuje, povieme mu, že je "Togor".
Potom Ottoborg veľmi nedbanlivým spôsobom vytvoril sedem chlapcov, aby žili v jeho siedmich domčekoch. Mená chlapcov boli Hypen Nupen, Petri Alfonzo, Willie Trombone, Aloh Al, Derradious Hapsicom (ktorého prezývali Creeker), Hondo a Ed.
Ottoborgovi synovia sa dali rozoznať už na prvý pohľad podľa krúžku na hlave. Často si ho nechcene navliekli na vetvy stromov a potom tam viseli celé dni. Petriho to tak unavovalo, že si odrezal hlavu, čo sa ukázalo ako smrteľné.
Ottoborg zabudol držať svoj svet pohromade gravitáciou, a preto sa jedného dňa rozpadol na kusy a on, jeho sedem synov a traja roboti sa plavili bezcieľne vesmírom.
Hypenova hruda sa zachytila o chvost kométy Parageorge (volala sa tak, pretože sa každý obehom zmenšovala). Chvost kométy Parageorge bol plný semienok, pretože raz preletela atmosférou planéty Berpie.
Hypen začal obrábať svoju hrudu, aby na nej mohol pestovať kvetiny. Miloval ich za to, ako všetko skrášľujú a často si nimi zdobil svoj krúžok na hlave. Pretože mal ako jediný zo svojich bratov nos zdalo obzvlášť príhodné, že tu pristál práve on. Vypestoval úžasné množstvo kvetín, ale po niekoľkých rokoch to nestačilo uspokojovať jeho rastúcu túhu po kvetinách. Jeho najväčším prianím bolo stať sa kráľom kvetín, nemať v pestovaní nijakého súpera. Vlastne nepoznal nikoho iného, kto by ich tiež pestoval, ale jeho nespútaná fantázia ho presvedčovala, že na planétach, ktoré sa mihli okolo kométy tiež obrábajú iné obrovské polia kvetín, ktorým sa to jeho - zatiaľ - nemôže rovnať.
Celé roky drel Hypen na pôde svojej hrudy v snahe vypestovať viac a viac kvetín. Vyvinul umelé hnojivá a živiny pre rastliny. Nepestoval nič iné, než kvetiny, aj napriek tomu, že na kométe bola kopa iných semienok. Keď medzi svojimi kvetinami zbadal nejakú inú rastlinu, bezohladne ju preklínajúc vytrhol zo zeme a hodil ju na kompost. Tak ho to hnevalo, že si potom musel na chvíľu zdriemnuť. Nezáležalo však na tom, koľko kvetín pôda vyprodukuje, pre Hypena to nikdy nebolo dosť.
Takmer sa zdalo, že sa zem zúfale snaží potešiť svojho pána, každý rok robí všetko len preto, aby dokázala vydať viac kvetín, než ten minulý. Po mnoho storočí sa aj naozaj takto prekonávala – každú sezónu vyprodukovala približne tucet ďalších kvetín. Ale Hypen sa len pýtal: „To je všetko?"
A potom sa úroda začala zmenšovať. Pôda bola proste príliš vyčerpaná a potrebovala si odpočinúť. Hypen na to reagoval ešte väčším tlakom, vo svojej zaslepenosti si nechcel pripustiť koniec.
Čím viac ale urobil pre to, aby bola úroda väčšia, tým viac sa zmenšovala. Najprv o desiatky, potom o stovky, tisíce a tak ďalej, až sa celá krajina zmenila na pustý nehybný úhor.
Keď Hyppen našiel čokoľvek iné, než kvetinu, vytiahol to aj s koreňmi a hodil oblúkom na kompost.
A ako pôda umierala a pôvodnú hnedú farbu nahrádzala sivá, Hypen slabol. Krúžok na hlave mu ovisol ako vyfúknutá pneumatika. Jeho sny zmeniť svoju hrudu kvetinami na krajšie a šťastnejšie miesto sa rozplynuli. Svoje posledné dni strávil strachovaním sa o posledné kvetiny, ktoré sa zúfalo snažili vyžiť z prachu a suchého vzduchu. Už nemal čas ani silu vyplieť ostatné pusté polia, aj keď tam rástlo len niekoľko popínavých burín. Keď zvädla posledná kvetina, Hypen Nupen umrel.
Willie Trombone bol práve vo svojom domčeku s červenou strechou, keď zrazu jeho hruda odletela do vzduchu. Ottoborg ho potom už nikdy nevidel.
Čo Ottoborg nevedel, (a táto stena samozrejme vie) bolo, že Willieho hruda letela práve tou najnebezpečnejšou častou vesmíru, obývanou hnusnými príšerami, ktoré sa nazývali Victoidi a väčšinu času trávili tým, že sa plavili priestorom hľadajúc potravu. Victoidi mali veľkú odpornú papuľu plnú veľkých, odporných a špicatých tesákov a samozrejme aj chlpy, ktorými bolo ich telo pokryté, boli odporné.
Tak, či onak, štyria Victoidi narazili na úbohého Willieho Trobmona, ktorý sa plavil vesmírom už dobre dlhú dobu. Willie, ako spoločenský typ, natiahol ruku a pozdravil ich: „Ahoj, chlpatí kamaráti“
Victoidi radostne zaškriekali, keď zbadali Willieho žlté mäkké mäso. Usúdili, že asi nebude úplný hlupák a že ho musia nejako podviesť, aby sa vôbec nechal zožrať. Lenže sa zmýlili. Willie Trombone bol totiž hlupák nad hlupákov a všetka tá námaha, ktorú vynaložili na jeho oklamanie, len dala dostatok času ohromnému Veľkému Robotovi Bilovi, ktorý bol unášaný vesmírom na to, aby dorazil. Natiahol svoje tri veľké ruky, zachytil sa o vznášajúci sa kus pevniny a vytiahol sa hore. Bil bol zdesený, keď videl, ako sa zlí Victoidi pokúšajú zožrať syna jeho stvoriteľa.
V ten večer si Willie Trombone pochutnal na Victoidoch a ich kožušiny si odložil na veľmi chladné noci. Willie a Bil sa stali blízkymi priateľmi a radovali sa zo spoločnosti toho druhého za dlhej plavby vesmírom, až kým jedného dňa nenarazili na niečo v diaľke... niečo, čo vyzeralo byť v núdzi.
Aloh Al kept a journal after Ottoborg's world broke into chunks. Here is copied the only known surviving excerpt from that diary:
"My chunk of land has whooshed through a mysterious cloud of blue gas. The cloud is larger than some worlds that I have seen. I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to jump off the chunk and onto the gas. There is such a clutter of junk on the outer surface of the blue gas that it is virtually solid, yet kind of springy-sproingy.
Wow! Am I tired! I think I will lay myself down to take a snooze on the junk that clutters the surface of this blue gas for I have not slept since before Ottoborg's world fell apart.
I do not know how long I was sleeping, but I woke up because I felt something tiny and creepy crawling on my knee! I reached down and swatted it with my hand; there was just a yellow spot of goop when I brought my hand up to see what kind of bug it was. Then I heard the weirdest whiney-moany noise I have ever heard. I looked up and around and behind me, but I did not see anything. Then I looked down on the ground. I found myself surrounded by very little beings; some were laying down, I guess they must have fainted after seeing one of their own squashed by my big hand. I knew they were not bugs then because they were all staring at me, and because they were not all crawling over me, or biting me, or injecting their eggs under my skin to incubate there and hatch later.
These are very teeny-tiny beings, indeed; when I compare them to myself, the tallest is only as big as my thumb. Each tiny being has a great head in comparision to the rest of its body. In fact, the head takes up as much space as the body. The two remarkable features of the head are the size of the head compared to the little body, and its almost perfect roundness; it is like a melon on a sliver!
Each being's head has a mouth, but other than that, there is only one other facial feature: their globe-heads are devided into an upper and lower hemisphere by dark line at the equator. I perceived this dark line to be (all in one) the eyes, ears and nose of these beings, since they employed them much in their observation of myself and, with their mouths also, in communication with each other.
Bol som veľmi hladný, as I had traveled on my chunk of land for štyridsať dní a štyridsať nocí alebo tak nejak. My first thought was to eat a handful of the little beings, but they held up their hands to ward me off and wailed in high-pitched whiney shrieks.
The little beings understood that I was famished from the disgusting rumbling noises that my stomach made. Seemingly from thin air, they produced tiny, delicate green crystals in great abundance. In my hand they appeared as so many granules of green sugar, except not gritty; rather, these were gummy, and had a flavor that made me think green thoughts. As fast as I would pop a handful of the green stuff into my mouth, the little beings would bring me more. They also brought me a cup, though to them it would be a tub, of green liquid, which after I drank it, I perceived it to be wine made from the green gummy crystals. It had a very fine flavor, and it made me think rather mellow green thoughts.
As much as the "Veľké Hlavy" (tak som ich volal) speak to me, I never comprehend a single word they say; but I must help them drink their wine.
One tiny being, who does most of the talking, seems to be in charge, since the others are always paying attention to him and they jump to action after he speaks. I suppose he is the father of these tiny beings. While he was speaking, he also did strange dances. He looked really stupid, waiving his arms about like that.
After a few weeks of the father trying to talk to me, some others of these "Big Heads" dressed in tight colorful clothing came to bother me. Some rode upon wheely-thing around and around inside the loop on my head! One had the nerve to bounce up and down on my lips; I should have just opened my mouth and swallowed him whole! The only thing I did not really mind was the three beings that did flips and somersaults on the three spikes that stick out of my chest; that was kind of fun!
Days and days of the same thing now: eating green gummy crystals, drinking green wine, watching the "Father Guy" (my name for him) flail about like he does and listening to his high pitched whining. Usually I just sit and smile at him, but when my cheeks get sore I imitate whatever he is doing. If he nods, I nod. If he shakes his head, I shake mine. I will not write in this diary unless something weird or exciting happens.
Ako dlho som tu ? Je veľmi ťažké sledovať čas, keď sa nič nové nedeje.
Once again the "Father Guy" came out to bother me with his high pitched whining, although it seemed more fevered this time. He kept pointing off away from where we sat, then he stood up and stomped about, always pointing. It looked like a dance to me; as far as I knew it was a dance since I had never seen any of these little beings dance, so I stood up and danced. I tried to make the steps of my dance like the "Father Guy's," but he was not at all pleased with my imitation.
I was busy trying to perfect my dancing step when I was suddenly hit from all sides by food! I assumed that it was my part in this strange dance to try and catch as much of the food as I could in my mouth. I was doing pretty well, if I do say so myself. I suppose I have an advantage over the little beings, since my mouth is so much bigger than any of theirs; perhaps this is why I was chosen for this special part of the dance.
More of the "Big Heads" joined the crowd that was throwing the food at me, so that I finally could not keep up with the torrent of food. I do not mean to criticize, but many of the beings did not have very good aim. I was ducking and jumping, doing my best to get my face into place to catch the food, but a lot of it just splattered against my body! A lot more just landed on the ground, so that I stepped in a bunch of it as I moved around. And still more of the "Big Heads" came out to where we all were and they joined in the food throwing! I felt a little ridiculous since I could not possibly keep up the pace of the dance. And the little guys really showed no sign of letting up.
By now a big circle of the beings surrounded me, all of them whining and shrieking same chant, I suppose. I decided to step out of the circle, and figured I would get another chance to get this dance right sometime later. But even after I stepped out of the circle, they continued to throw the food at me! I did not even try to catch it; I really wanted to practice this dance and try to do better the next time. As I stepped further away to get out of their throwing range, they finally stopped.
They stopped their whining and shrieking chant too, and soon the "Big Heads" were cheering and clapping. I turned back to accept their applause. I think they appreciated that I tried so hard to catch all of the food, because as soon as I turned back, they started throwing more. I did not want to dance this food-catching dance any more! I turned my back to the "Big Heads" with big round heads and walked away as fast as I could.
Before I knew it, I was walking up to another group of tiny beings. These beings remained silent as I approached; no whining or shrieking or moaning.
These beings are just as tiny as the first beings I lived amongst, but they have different heads. Their heads seem to be the right size for their little bodies. Their faces are featureless except for a long, needle-like proboscis. These tiny beings seem to use this protuberance for all their communication and all their senses: sight, smell, taste, hearing, feeling. Some of these beings pointed their needle noses here and there over my body as I approached, but most kept them pointed at my feet.
Just before I stepped up in front of the "Needle Noses" (my name for them), they began clapping. By the time I actually stopped, they were cheering and whooping and jumping up and down. This went on for quite a while. Then they began to quiet down and the crowd began to split down the middle. I noticed one "Needle Nose" coming through the crowd to stand in front of me.
This "Needle Nose" seemed to have the respect of all the other "Needle Noses" because they all gave their attention to him as he stood in front of me; I could tell because all their needle-like noses where pointed at him instead of me. He must be their "Father Guy".
After looking me over for a while, the "Father Guy" started speaking at me. I did not understand anything that he said to me, but I smiled at him the entire time that he spoke to me. I kept smiling at them all after the "Father Guy" finished; I was trying to think of something to do! I decided to say something back to them.
"Dobre, je to naozaj pekné," povedal som, "že ste ma všetci dnes prišli pozdraviť. Vieš, I couldn't stand for any more of that food-throwing dance that the "Big Heads" do. Nemáte food throwing dance, všakže? Rozumiete mi, chlapci?"
I smiled some more after I finished and waited for something to happen. All the "Needle Noses" did was turn around and walk away! They kept looking over their shoulders as they left, but they did not seem to care if I followed or if I stayed where I was. I decided I might as well stay where I was. I sat down and waited to see what would happen. For days and days I sat there and nothing happened. At first the "Needle Noses" kept looking over their shoulders at me, but after a few days they seemed to forget I was there!
After a week or so of being ignored, I was hungry, so I followed some of the "Needle Noses" around as they went about their daily chores, and every so often they would look over their shoulders at me. Mostly, what they did all day was spit on the ground. It was a disgusting sight! They would form lines and walk through the fields and the spit on the ground, day after day. All the time, spitting! Day after day, no matter where I was, no matter what I observed them do, they were always spitting! I do not know why I did not notice it before.
Then I noticed all their food came from the fields they had been spitting in all this time! Food from spit! Now that they were harvesting, they had time to notice me. For the first time since I arrived in the "Needle Nose" land, they offered me food. How could I accept it after seeing them spit all the time to produce the food? I ran away, sickened to my stomach.
After what I am sure must be something like 100 years, I could not take living among any of these tiny beings any more; I was being starved by the "Needle Noses" and I did not want to go back to the "Big Heads" to have them throw more food at me during their crazy dance. I felt defeated and hung my head in dejection.
Now, since I was standing on a cloud of blue gas, as the gas swirled and spun I could often see through the gas or at least deep into the center of it. Something fuzzy, as if in the distance on the other side of the cloud, caught my eye. The shape grew larger and a little more defined as it came close.
All at once I clapped my hands and whooped for joy! I did not need a crystal clear view of the object to recognize it as the very chunk of land that had broken off of Ottoborg's world and brought me to this miserable place. At once I realized what was happening: the chunk of land was caught in a circular orbit and the blue gas must be going in a straight line that took it through two points in that circle. I cried out, 'For sure, I am the luckiest of all of Ottoborg's sons!'
Carefully, as it passed through the cloud of blue gas, I jumped off the springy surface of debris and onto my chunk of my father's world. I have not been on the chunk of land for about three minutes, long enough to make this latest entry into my journal. Gee, je skvelé byť opäť doma! Dúfam, že už nikdy..."
Here the excerpt of the diary ends abruptly. It is said that the chunk of land that Aloh Al was on suddenly smashed into a dirt clod that collided with it head-on. Both the chunk and the clod were traveling at great speeds upon impact. Nothing was ever seen of Aloh Al again.
Creekerova hruda bola najväčšia a bola plná jazier. V skutočnosti bola z väčšej časti pokrytá vodou. Creeker na svojej hrude prežil mnoho storočí – dosť veľa na to, aby sa naučil, ako vytvoriť obrovské repliky lyžíc, nožov, vedier naplnených nadmernými sezamovými semenami, obrovské bochníky chleba a mnoho podobných vecí.
Creeker využil hlinu zo suchých miest svojej hrudy ako materiál na stavbu svojich sôch. Keď ho omrzelo dívať sa na svoje sochy, jednoducho ich prevrhol do najbližšej mláky. Každá z obrovských sôch po dopade do mláky vytlačila množstvo vody, ktorá potom pokryla vždy novú časť suchej zeme.
Keď práve netvoril sochy, dôkladne si prezeral a kontroloval nejaký z jeho predchádzajúcich výtvorov. Svoju prácu bral veľmi vážne. Vždy buď usúdil, že socha nevystihuje pôvodný koncept, alebo videl z plastelíny trčať vlas, či hmyz. Nech už to bolo akokoľvek, vždy ho to veľmi rozhnevalo.
Nič z tejto práce mu nepripadalo tak, že by to správne vystihovalo jeho predstavy. Nevedel prísť na to, v čom je problém, ale predpokladal, že to bude mať čo dočinenia s veľkosťou.
"If only it was a little bit bigger...", he would often say to himself. Then he would heave the thing into the nearest lake.
His mind was focused intently on making each new sculpture larger than the previous one, whether it be a giant replica of a Red Pod bulb of a mostly empty jar that had been sitting in the back of a valley for eight weeks. Eventually, he spent very little time examining his finished works, but with an exclamation of disgust he would throw the work into the nearest lake (which, after a while, seemed to be conveniently closer and closer) just as soon as it was done and immediately start on the next one. The replicas were by this time so large that he had to climb them to work on the upper parts.
The largest sculpture Creeker ever completed was of a baby's arm holding an apple. It was such a titanic work that he had to use spikes and ropes to get up it. When he finished, he had to rapple down the back of the arm. He backed up to get a good look at it, but could not back up very far since he was on a beach.
Again, his disgust and frustration overcame him as he said, "No, no, no. That's not it at all!" Then Creeker rushed at the base of the sculpture to push it into the water. He barely budged it, but it was top heavy since the apple at the top was enormous, so that his push was enough motion to cause the sculpture to fall over. Creeker turned to start on a new sculpture, (he had in mind a great pair of tongs digging into a bucket of sand) and he never saw the tidal wave that fell upon him.
Hondo's chunk of land ended up on the back of a giant animal that lived in a desert on an undocumented planet. Hondo seemed to like the animal enough, and he was so small that the animal did not detect his existence. There was not much that Hondo could tell about what the animal looked like. It was a colossal beast compared to Hondo.
He took many survey journeys that went on for days and days across the top of the beast to see if it looked different from other locations. As he walked, he noticed the color of the ground changed; presently he would be passing over an area that was brown, then fifteen feet or so further he would pass over an area that was yellow. The surface he walked on was hard and mostly smooth, but it was terraced into short, flat little hills all over. When he came to the edge, he was looking around and he almost fell off. He got down on his stomach to look over the edge. There was nothing between him and the ground which was very far away; if he had jumped, the fall would have broken every bone in his body.
He was on the lip of an overhang, and he reached under it to see if he could feel how far back it went, but the overhang went straight back and kept going. Then he carefully lowered his head over to look and see how far back this overhang went. He could not see it though, there was so much dark shadow he could only see about as far as his hand reached.
Hondo got up and decided to walk directly away from the edge. He grew very tired almost immediately as the surface began ascending right away. It took a day to reach the summit, so he slept there. In the morning Hondo was able to see very far from the top of the animal. The sky was all blue, and the land was all beige. He saw that the highest hilly part of this animal sloped down in all directions around from where he stood.
Edov kúsok zeme iba navždy zostal nehybne stáť na svojom mieste.
Homen
Quater stvoril Homena, dal mu dve koruny a nechal na jeho rozhodnutí, čo spraví s tou zvyšnou. Homen mal syna menom Pinto Bunyan, ktorému okamžite dal jeho druhú korunu. Pinto Bunyan pomáhal Homenovi vo všetkom, čo robil.
Homen made a bunch of beings called Ynts. The Ynts were blue and looked like little bugs. The Blue Ynts spent their first day of existence fashioning small spears. Soon the Ynts had broken up into small communities. Each community had a specific task to accomplish which helped all of the other Ynt communities. Blue Ynt South was in charge of growing food. Blue Ynt North built housing for other communities, and so on and so forth.
All was peaceful and working efficiently, so Pinto Bunyan made some Ynts of his own - only his were white.
Now it came about, when the White Ynts began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of the Blue Ynts saw that the daughters of the White Ynts were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. The Hutza Mutza were in the world in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of Blue Ynts came into the daughters of White Ynts, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty Ynts who were of old, Ynts of renown. The White Ynts instantly mingled with the Blue Ynts but they refused to acknowledge the community system of the Blue Ynts. The White Ynts enjoyed the fruits of all the Blue Ynts' hard work, but did not help them work at all. It only took one White Ynt to throw an egg at a Blue Ynt one morning to cause a dreadful feud.
So Hemhemhema, of the Blue Ynts, rose with all the Blue Ynts of war to go up to White Ynt East; and Hemhemhema chose 30,000 Blue Ynts, valiant warriors, and sent them out at night. And he commanded them, saying, "See, you are going to ambush the city from behind it. Do not go very far from the city, but all of you be ready. Then I and all the Blue Ynts who are with me will approach the city. And it will come about when they come out to meet us as at the first, that we will flee before them. And they will come out after us until we have drawn them away from the city, for they will say, 'They are fleeing before us as at the first.' So we will flee before them. And you shall rise from your ambush and take possession of the city. Then it will be when you have seized the city, that you shall set the city on fire. See I have commanded you." Most of those Ynts of war in attendance could not understand Hemhemhema for the language he used was flowery and outdated. Still, few in attendance there from among all of those in attendance did harken and understand. Even did they reckon the sayings of Hemhemhema. And straight-away did they clue-in their buddies who were just lollygagging about, scratching their heads. At once all who heard this explanation did understand Hemhemhema's plan, so Hemhemhema sent them away, and they went to the place of ambush and remained between White Ynt West and White Ynt East, and the west side of White Ynt East; but Hemhemhema spent that night at the Wagon Leisure Inn.
Now Hemhemhema rose early in the morning and mustered the Blue Ynts, and he went up with the elders of Blue Ynt before the Blue Ynts to White Ynt East. Then all the Blue Ynts of war who were with him went up and drew near and arrived in front of the city, and camped on the north side of White Ynt East. Now there was a valley between him and White Ynt East. And he took about 5,000 Blue Ynts and set them in ambush between White Ynt West and White Ynt East, on the west side of the city. So they stationed the Blue Ynts, all the army that was on the north side of the city, and its rear guard on the west side of the city, and Hemhemhema spent that night in Sid's "Garden Spot" Lodge. And it came about when the king of White Ynt East saw it, that the men of the city hurried and rose up early and went out to meet the Blue Ynts in battle, he and all his people at the appointed place before the desert plain. But he did not know that there was an ambush against him behind the city. And Hemhemhema and all the Blue Ynts pretended to be beaten before them, and fled by the way of the wilderness. And all the people who were in the city were called together to pursue them, and they pursued Hemhemhema, and were drawn away from the city. So not an Ynt was left in White Ynt East or White Ynt West who had not gone out after Blue Ynts and they left the city unguarded and pursued Blue Ynts.
Potom Homen povedal Hemhemhema-ovi, "Stretch out the spear that is in your hand toward White Ynt East, for I will give it into your hand." So Hemhemhema stretched out the spear that was in his hand toward the city. And the men in ambush rose quickly from their place, and when he had stretched out his hand, they ran and entered the city and captured it; and they quickly set the city on fire. When the men of White Ynt East turned back and looked, behold, the smoke of the city ascended to the sky, and they had no place to flee this way or that, for the people who had been fleeing to the wilderness turned against the persuers. When Hemhemhema and all Blue Ynts saw that the men in ambush had captured the city and that the smoke of the city ascended, they turned back and slew the men of White Ynt East. And the others came out from their city to encounter them, so that they were trapped in the midst of Blue Ynts, some on this side and some on that side; and they slew them until no one was left of those who survived or escaped. But they took alive the king of White Ynt East and brought him to Hemhemhema.
Now it came about when the Blue Ynts had finished killing all the inhabitants of White Ynt East in the field in the wilderness where they persued them, and all of them were fallen by the spear until they were destroyed, then all the Blue Ynts returned to White Ynt East and struck it with the spear. And all who fell that day, both male and female, were 12,000 (all the people of White Ynt East). For Hemhemhema did not withdraw his hand with which he stretched out the spear until he had utterly destroyed all the inhabitants of White Ynt East. So Hemhemhema burned White Ynt East and made it a heap forever, a desolation until this day. And he hanged the king of White Ynt East on a tree until evening and at sunset. Hemhemhema gave a command and they took his body down from the tree, and threw it at the entrance of the city gate and raised over it a great heap of stones that stands to this day.
So Itchigoplasty and all the White Ynts who were with him arose by night and lay in wait against Blue Ynt South in four companies. Now Pimento Loofa the son of Texadrill went out and stood in the entrance of the city gate, and said, "Who is Itchigoplasty that we should serve him?"; and Itchigoplasty and the White Ynts who were with him arose from the ambush. And when Pimento Loofa, of the Blue Ynts, saw the White Ynts, he said to Factotron, "Look, Ynts are coming down from the tops of the mountains." But Factotron said to him, "You are seeing the shadow of the mountains as if they were Ynts." And Pimento Loofa spoke again and said, "Behold, Ynts are coming down from the highest part of the land, and one company comes by the way of the Diviners' Sandwich." Then Factotron said to him, "Where is your boasting now with which you said, 'Who is Itchigoplasty that we should serve him?' Are these not the White Ynts whom you despised? Go out now and fight with them!" So Pimento Loofa went out before the leaders of Blue Ynt South and fought with Itchigoplasty. And Itchigoplasty chased him and he fled before him; and many fell wounded at the entrance of the gate. Then Itchigoplasty remained at Blue Ynt West, but Factotron drove out Pimento Loofa and his relatives so that they could not remain in Blue Ynt South.
Now it came about the next day, that Blue Ynts went out to the field, and it was told to Itchigoplasty. So he took his White Ynts and devided them into three companies, and lay in wait in the field; when he looked and saw the Ynts coming out from the city, he arose against them and slew them. Then Itchigoplasty and the company who was with him dashed forward and stood in the entrance of the city gate; the other two companies then dashed against all who were in the field and slew them. And Itchigoplasty fought against the city all that day, and he captured the city and killed the Blue Ynts who were in it; then he razed the city and sowed it with salt.
When all the leaders of the tower of Blue Ynt South heard of it, they entered the inner chamber of the temple of Holmarrk (or "The Door"). And it was told to Itchigoplasty that all the leaders of the tower of Blue Ynt South were gathered together. So Itchigoplasty went up to Mount Chlorescent; he and all the Ynts who were with him, and Itchigoplasty took an ax in his hand and cut down a branch from the trees, and lifted it and laid it on his shoulder. Then he said to the Ynts who were with him, "What you have seen me do, hurry and do likewise." And all the Ynts also cut down each one his branch and followed Itchigoplasty, and put them on the inner chamber and set the inner chamber on fire over those inside, so that all the men of the tower of Blue Ynt South also died, about a thousand men and women.
Then Itchigoplasty went to Blue Ynt Southwest and he camped against Blue Ynt Southwest and captured it. But there was a strong tower in the center of the city, and all the men and women with all the leaders of the city fled there and shut themselves in, and they went up on the roof of the tower. So Itchigoplasty came to the tower and fought against it, and approached the entrance of the tower to burn it with fire. But a certain female Ynt threw a 16 ton weight on Itchigoplasty's head, crushing his skull. Then he called quickly to a young Ynt, his armor bearer, and said to him, "Draw your spear and kill me, lest it be said of me, 'A female Ynt slew him!' So the young Ynt pierced him through and he died. And when the White Ynts saw that Itchigoplasty was dead, each departed to his home.
Keď Blue Ynts a White Ynts started to fight, so did Pinto Bunyan and Homen.
Quater stepped-in, and took Pinto Bunyan's crown away and gave it to a new being he made called Arven.
Hoborg
Chcel som vedieť, čo sa stane, keď vytvorím kráľa s veľkým srdcom. Pomenoval som ho Hoborg,v preklade "veľké srdce".
Hoborg dostal korunu a pobral sa medzi hŕbku oblakov. Quater stál obďaleč a pozoroval ho.
Hoborgovi sa zapáčila myšlienka stvoriť miesto pre vlastné bytosti. Vedel, že oblaky, ktoré okolo neho vírili, by tvorili perfektnú oblohu, tak potreboval len vytvoriť zem. Jediná vec, ktorá Hoborga zaujímala, bola, že niektoré z jeho bytostí by sa stali zlými. Chcel vytvoriť bytosti, z ktorých by sa mohol tešiť navždy, ale nechcel ich prinútiť, aby ho milovali a rešpektovali. Rozhosol sa, že vytvorí bytosti schopné vybrať si medzi dobrom a zlom. Ako si tak premietal všetko vo svojej hlave, prišiel na to, že by mohol tvoriť svojich potomkov po jednom a u každého by mohol vidieť, či sa stane dobrým alebo zlým pred tým, než by sa pustil do tvorby ďalšieho. Hoborg vytvoril zmenšený model svojho sveta z Hliny Klay (or clay) aby videl, či to vyzerá rovnako, ako si to predstavoval. Strávil asi dvadsať rokov vymýšľaním tvarov a farieb tohto miesta, ktoré nazval Overhood. Potreboval nejakú hlinu, aby vytvoril vlastný svet a the only place where Klay could be found that was of the purity and quality Hoborg wanted, would take four hundred years to reach. He was so anxious to get started that he asked for help from Quater.
"Quater, vďaka za vyrobenie tejto krásnej koruny... všetko v tomto živote je také nádherné, ale stále som v údive..." Hoborg si kľakol na jedno koleno. "Mohol by si mi pomôcť dostať sa ku Hline najvyššej kvality?"
Quater sa zasmial, "Dosiahnuť niečo také by zabralo mnoho času aj mne! Čo je zlé na hline, ktorú som ti už dal ?"
Hoborg odpovedal, "Páči sa mi hlina, ktorú si mi dal na plánovanie, ale pre svoje bytosti by som chcel tie najlepšie ingrediencie. Vieš, chcel by som, aby vydržali večne, ale hlina vydrží len niekoľko tisíc rokov."
Quatera to zaujalo, "Tu je teleskop, ktorý ti pomôže vidieť ďalej než potrebuješ. Budeš si môcť vybrať najkratšiu cestu k Hline, ktorá by ti mala ušetriť pár rokov cesty."
Hoborg prijal teleskop, "Oh, vďaka Quater! Si veľkorysý."
Hoborg sa ešte v ten istý deň vydal na cestu. Teleskopom jasne videl Horu Hliny, ktorú potreboval na vybudovanie Overhoodu.
Každý deň bol rovnaký, Hoborg vstal pred východom slnka, tak aby nemusel cestovať v horúčave. But before he set off to travel each morning, he thought lofty respectful thoughts about Quater. Hoborg, in his ever-so-deep voice, would sing songs to the ground about how good it was to have been made. After a morning's journey, Hoborg would cover himself up in soil and rest. He resumed his mission in the afternoon and walked toward the great Mountain of Klay until late in the evening.
Po 20 rokoch cestovania, Hoborg vyrastal veľmi osamelý. Čoskoro už nemohol pokračovať v ceste. Našiel kus zeme, kde sa mohol zastaviť a oddýchnuť si. Rástla na nej dlhá vínna réva a Hoborg si vedľa nej ľahol, aby sa mohol potešiť z jej tieňa a zbaviť sa svojho smútku. A Hoborg sa z rastliny veľmi tešil. Ale na úsvite ďalšieho dňa prišiel červík, zaútočil na rastlinu a ona zvädla. And it came about when the sun came up, that a scorching east wind and the white light of the sun beat down on Hoborg's head so that he became faint and begged to die, saying, "Smrť je pre mňa lepšia než život."
Hoborg sa nezmohol na nič, len ležal. Hoborg začal škrabať, absent-mindedly, na mieste, kde ležala jeho ruka. Potom povedal, "Škrabanie je pre mňa lepšie než smrť." It was a fine, dry dirt that was packed down and baked hard by the white sun. His fingers bent, lifted and stretched; bent, lifted and stretched; bent, lifted and stretched, scratching relentlessly. His fingers scraped through the layers of fine dust and grit day after day. Just a few grains of dust and grit required weeks of scraping before it broke loose from the ground, the ground was that hard and compacted. More and more dirt added to the pile under his palm each month. During the years that passed, the only sound he heard were the scraping of his hand on the dirt and his breathing. After a pile big enough to pick up formed under his hand, he grabbed it, spat on it and squeezed it and squeezed it and squeezed it until his hand turned white and his knuckles made popping noises. Hoborg sat up and looked at what lay in his palm as he opened his fist. He saw that he had formed a clod of dirt.
Teraz červík, ktorý zaútočil na vinnú révu a spôsobil, že uschla, vystrčil hlavu zo zeme a obdivoval hrudu, hovoriac, "Preboha, ty máš ale peknú hrudu hliny!" Skúmajúc Hoborga odhora dole sa spýtal, "Urobil si to všetko sám?"
"Áno, urobil." povedal Hoborg.
"Keby som bol tebou," povedal červík, "Zostal by som tu a urobil viac hlinených hrúd. Môžeš z nich vytvoriť bytosti a obývať nimi tento kus zeme. Koniec-koncov, skutočne si už videl hromadu hliny teleskopom, ktorý ti Quater dal? Alebo si ju len chcel vidieť, pretože ti Quater povedal, že ju môžeš vidieť?"
Hoborg odvetil, "Skutočne mi Quater povedal, že teleskop mi umožní vidieť najkratšiu cestu ku Hline, a tak by som ušetril niekoľko rokov cestovania. Ale cestoval som už tak dlho..."
A červík povedal Hoborgovi, "Neušetril si žiadny čas. Nikdy si nevidel Hlinu, však? Zaujímalo by ma, či Quater niekedy videl Hlinu." Keď sa Hoborg zamyslel, aj on sa začudoval. Existuje vôbec niečo také ako Hlina? Len o tom počul; nikdy žiadnu nevidel. Vtedy napadla Hoborgovi myšlienka. Samozrejme, trvalo mnoho rokov, kým zozbieral dosť hliny na jednu hrudu, ale mal mnoho času a vedel, že naokolo bolo veľa hliny; už viac nemusel hľadať Hlinu. Alebo mohol pokračovať v ceste netušiac kedy alebo či dosiahne svoj cieľ. He considered making more dirt clods and creating clod-beings right there to populate the chunk of land he had stopped on to rest. Sure, it would take a lot of spit, but Hoborg figured he would find a way to work-up enough. And now that he had a purpose for scraping he could use both hands and save time. First he would finish creating a being from the dirt clod he already had made.
Hoborg knelt beside the thing he had put together. The hideous outrage of dirt stretched out, and then, as he worked the clod with his hands, it began to show signs of life, and stirred with an uneasy, half-vital motion. Frightful it must have been; for supremely frightful was the effect of his endeavor to mock the stupendous mechanism of his own creator, Quater. His success terrified Hoborg; he cast away his odious handiwork, horror-stricken, as far and with as much velocity as he could throw it. He hoped that, left to itself, out wherever it might land, the slight spark of life which had received such imperfect animation, would subside into dead matter. Hoborg went to sleep in the belief that the silence of the grave would quench forever the transient existence of the hideous clod which he had looked upon as the cradle of life. He slept; but in a dream he was awakened; he opened his eyes; beheld the horrid thing standing at his side under the spindly vine (in Hoborg's dream it grew back), and it looked on him with yellow, spit oozing, but speculative eyes.
Hoborg sa zobudil (naozaj) a bol ohromený hrôzou, pretože uvidel niečo v diaľke a strácalo sa to každou minútou. Najprv si myslel, že to bola hruda-kreatúra vracajúca sa, aby ho dostala, ale ako sa približovala, zistil, že je to oveľa väčšie ako suchá hruda. A short while passed before Hoborg could make out the shape. It was a piece of land with a little red-roofed house on it. There was a big robot and a little being on it. Hoborg realized that these folks would pass him if he did not act quickly so he took off his belt from around his waist and made a lasso. He figured that it still was not long enough to reach this passing land mass, so in act of desperation he gouged a chunk of his chest out and rolled it into a great snake that extended the end of his belt. This contraption was long enough to lasso the land, which halted when the cord went taut. The big robot pointed to Hoborg's chest and said, "Soooom Bil. Soooom Bil."
Hoborg sa zavlnil a odpovedal, "Soooom Hoborg. Som Hoborg."
Menšia bytosť (trocha menšia ako Hoborg, ale jednu päťdesiatinu veľkosti Bila) pointed to Hoborg's chest and said, "Me think hims pointing your torso, big ouch!"
Hoborg si neuvedomil, že jeho črevá sa usadili v obrovskej štrbine, ktorú vyvoril v jeho hrudi. "Dobrý Quater! Čo sa to chystám spraviť?"
The small being took off his own belt and instructed Bil to carry him down to where Hoborg was. The being jumped into Bil's hand and he walked over to where Hoborg sat, about to pass-out. "Me Willie," the stranger said as he tied his belt over Hoborg's chest, clamping the severed sections together, and closing up the self-inflicted injury.
Hoborg položil ruku na Willieho rameno, "Ahoj, Willie, Som Hoborg a ty si mi práve zachránil život!"
Willie neuznával toto vyjadrenie. Hoborg vedel, že Willie nie je v podstate normálny, ale aj tak bol rovnako vďačný.
Po pár dňoch odpočinku sa Hoborg rozhodol, že bude najlepšie pokračovať v tejto ceste. Hoborg sa spýtal Bila a Willieho či sa chcú k nemu pridať. Bil povedal, "Soooooom Bil. Soooooom Bil," a Willie si niečo zamrmlal pod nos.
Hoborg mal rád ich spoločnosť, ale vedel, že nechcú ísť s ním, a tak so slzami v očiach sa s nimi rozlúčil. Hoborg bol veľmi prekvapený, keď po pár metroch kráčania zistil, že Bil a Willie ho následujú. Hoborg sa ich nič nespýtal, len sa vo vnútri radoval a pokračoval smerom za Klayom.
Veľký Robot Bil (Hoborg zistil jeho celé meno, pretože bolo vyrité na jeho nohe) proved most useful for carrying Willie and Hoborg and the little red-roofed house over canyons too steep to climb. Hoborg noticed, while being carried by Big Robot Bil, that Bil's chest had a switch inside it marked "good" at the present setting and "bad" on the other setting. Hoborg dared not find out what the "bad" setting did, but he thought it must be a poorly thought-out attempt at dealing with the same problems he had when he was planning the making of beings that were capable of doing right and wrong.
Within a few more years the three made it to the Klay. It was a mountain of the purest Klay in the known universe and Hoborg found it to be of higher quality than he or even Quater imagined it would be. He filled his crown up with a few good sized hunks of Klay; Bil and Willie carried a few hunks to help. All together, Hoborg figured there was enough to make his Overhood and about two thousand beings.
Na ceste späť, kde Hoborg začal svoju výpravu, k ním pristúpil Tickberger. A Tickberger is something all icky and sticky that Quater always said to run away from. Hoborg yelled for Bil to grab Willie and himself and make a run for it. A Tickberger is made to want what other beings have. He could tell that they had a bunch of Klay so he licked his lips, exposed his fangs and said, "Klaaaaaay!" As fast as Bil could run, it was not fast enough to outrun the nimble Tickberger. The ID panel on the back of Bil's foot was removed with one swipe of Tickberger's razor sharp claw. Hoborg saw that Bil was slowing down and that they would soon perish if they did not do something quick. Hoborg threw all of the spare Klay over to the ground below. He figured the amount remaining would still be enough to make a medium sized world and about five hundred beings. The problem was that as soon as Hoborg dumped the Klay, Tickberger gobbled it up, and it was still closing in on Bil. Hoborg nervously threw some more Klay out and this time Tickberger ate it but slowed down considerably. This was not good enough, since Bil also was slowing down considerably from the exhausting pace. He simply could not carry on much longer.
Hoborg decided that he would have to be happy with about twenty beings in a small neighborhood as a world. With that, he dumped most of his Klay over with just a bit left for his greatly reduced plans. It worked this time since Tickberger stopped completely and could not follow them since he was stuffed with so much Klay.
Bil continued under Hoborg's guidance, holding the little red-roofed house on his shoulder where Willie and Hoborg could ride and room together. After many years' journey, Hoborg returned and was ready to build "The Everhood," a neighborhood that would last forever...
... tak dlho než sa nič zlé nestalo
Arven
Arven is a sleek and fast being who created thousands of beings from the first moment he was given a crown. Besides his crown, there is an aerodynamic fin off the back of his head because he is so fast.
Jeho štýľ tvorby je rýchly: preniknúť, vytvoriť, odísť. He does not keep account of the worlds he creates nor the beings he creates to inhabit them. Quater made Arven quiet, serious, lean and efficient. Arven has spoken only once to some of the beings he has created.
Quater wanted to make a being who would fill up the rest of creation with more worlds and planets and beings. Arven does not even take the time to create beings who will be creators themselves. Arven now has seven worlds that his beings inhabit:
NORDO je svet pozostávajúci zo siedmich planét, z ktorých každá má svoju vlastnú kultúru. The inhabitants of each planet have a distinct mythology with the common element of the seven planets fighting amongst each other. But they never do in reality. This makes the various races of the seven planets fear each other intensely, though there is no real need to do so.
Siedme planéty sú:
Idsnak - osídlený Skullmonkey-mi. Skullmonkeys vyzerajú ako opice s lebkami namiesto hláv. Skullmonkeys strávia celý deň lovením jeden druhého nervóznymi, hyperaktívnymi metódami. Hoci by Skullmonkeys radi strašili mlaďatá ostatných civilizácií, nemôžu, pretože ostatné svety nie sú pre nich dosiahnuteľné. Toto je dôvodom, že pátranie po transporte je najdôležitejším záujmom múdrejších Skullmonkeys. Alpha Jaw, vodca Kráľovstva Skullmonkeys, dúfa, že bude vlastniť nejakú kozmickú loď, postavenú pre let ku planétam plným mládeže na strašenie.
Jedného dňa, keď sa Alpha Jaw zamestnával detailným plánovaním veľkej rampy na spustenie ohromnej rakety, jeho asistent Hairy Jo zliezol dole veľkou pevnosťou a rozhodol sa odpočinúť si v jazierku. Hairy Jo sa zhlboka napil z čistej vody a obzeral si sám seba v pokojnom odraze. He poked his finger in his ovicular foramen and wondered what it would be like to have flesh on his head.
"Som veľmi škaredý." pomyslel si Hairy Jo.
This was an odd thought since most Skullmonkeys have no concern for appearances.
cast - odlievať
"Z tohto dôvodu sa budem odlievať do vody a nikdy viac nebudem žiť." povedal, a potom vyskočil.
Jeho telo urobilo hlasný čľapot a cítil chladný dotyk vody na každej časti svojho tela. His hair grew deeply saturated with water until all of the air bubbles wriggled their way up to the surface. Hairy Jo exhaled and sank even deeper, far deeper perhaps, than any other Skullmonkey had ever gone before. Weightless, he refused to move or struggle. Dark waters surrounded him and he thought about his youth. Hairy Jo remembered a particularly unpleasant day many years before when he was just a lad-Skullmonkey receiving his lesson from an elder named Low Jaw.
"Many are the hairs on our backs," povedal Low Jaw, "and likewise are the number of Skullmonkeys in this world."
Hairy Jo looked up to Low Jaw as a father figure. For weeks, Hairy Jo followed every move Low Jaw made. If Low Jaw went into the forest to forage for nuts and grubs so went Hairy Jo. If Low Jaw tended to his garden, so did Hairy Jo.
One especially warm and beautiful day Hairy Jo was on his way to Low Jaw's cave when he saw a great crowd gathered around the entrance. Many Skullmonkeys were howling to show their mournful state. Low Jaw's wife was the gloomiest of all... she was like a brittle fall leaf blown into a corner. Hairy Jo pushed his way to the front of the crowd demanding to see his mentor. Low Jaw gently swung by his neck, hung from a braided piece of cloth his two children had made. His children were the first to find him in this state. The peculiar thing that Hairy Jo recalled, was that he had shaved himself completely naked.
Arnod - inhabited by the Rrs. Rrs observe other planets and civilizations hoping one day to apply all that they have learned to their own civilization. This is not likely, however, since they find comfort in research and are terrified of application. Rrs are extremely advanced in the arts of the mind which they use to read other beings' minds. Every other generation in the Rrs' lifeline produces an Omega Rr. Omega Rrs have such superior mind control that they can use their minds to form physical doorways between worlds. This has been outlawed by Arven, and only because Quater brought this to his attension. But the Omega Rrs were not stopped until after they had moved a few Ynts, Skullmonkeys and even Rrs to other planets.
Ba'ak - inhabited by Half-Skullmonkeys, who are half Blue Ynt. Called "Blue-Ynt-Skullmonkeys" these beings look just like White Ynts since the mating of a Skullmonkey with a Blue Ynt causes a loss of pigmentation in the offspring resulting in a Blue Ynt that appears to be white. There is no other visual effect on the offspring from the Skullmonkeys, though their behavior is more like that of a Skullmonkey than the community-building Blue Ynts.
Guhrli - inhabited by Proto-Skullmonkeys. These pitiful beings have to bury themselves up to their necks every night in the rich Guhrli soil to keep from dying of dehydration. They can only eat HoBread, which can only be made by grinding up the largest Wx and adding them to HoBatter before it rises. (Arven corrected all of these limitations in the final design of Skullmonkeys.) Guhrli has a monthly orbit that floats so close to Wx that the Proto-Skullmonkeys can harvest the plumpest ´Wx for their HoBread. Due to the Proto-Skullmonkeys' tie to the soil of Guhrli every evening, colonizing Wx with Proto-Skullmonkeys is not possible.
Wx - obývaný Wx. Wx sú nažltnutí, tuční a chlpatí. Wx sa rozmnožujú nepohlavne a často, which would create an overcrowding problem if they were not harvested each month by the Proto-Skullmonkeys.
Hapsborg - inhabited by one Rr and one Skullmonkey who became best friends. The Rr's name is Rrheostan and the Skullmonkey's name is Mazzimoast. Their first year on Hapsiborg was one of confused emotions. Because of the myth of the seven planets fighting amongst each other, Mazzimoast and Rrheostan feared each other, but they were lonely and longed for companionship also. Rrheostan, behaving in perfect Rr fashion, wanted to study Mazzimoast and all of his habits. He spent a lot of time following the Skullmonkey's tracks to see where he went, examining his feces to see what he ate, and climbing up trees to see where he lived. They found that helping each other was their only chance at happiness and survival. While they were extremely productive during the first hundred years of friendship, they now just sit in front of their houses swapping grossly exaggered stories of their first year together.
Yanko - ovývaní prenasledovateľmi Mai Kea. Mai Kea was said to live on Hapsborg, though in reality he did not exist at all by any known records. Yankites (beings of Yanko) find pleasure in making intricate art works for Mai Kea. Perhaps the greatest works of art known to Quater are made in Yanko. It is for this reason that no one has the heart to tell the Yankites that Mai Kea does not exist.
Ostatné svety, ktoré Arven vyrobil:
PLASMO je obrovský kúdol bytostí príliž malých na zbadanie voľným okom. Rrs have projected their minds there.
ALFATIC je svet R'Goss. Každá ďalšia generácia sa narodí väčšia ako predošlá. Keď sa každá generácia R'Goss dostane do veku seniorov, počujete hlášky ako: "Títo trúdi si myslia, že sú veľkí !" alebo "Keď som bol v tvojom veku, museli sme stáť na stoličke, aby sme dostali hrniec fondue dolu z kredenca."
Domy predkov nie sú používateľné pre ďalšie generácie; proste nie sú schopní prejsť dverami.
ALPA FAMALPA je svet, kde sú dospelí ovladaní svojimi deťmi. The children send the parents on time-consuming, frivolous tasks that keep the parents from doing anything but what the children desire. One might think that a society like this would collapse in anarchy. But to satisfy each whim of their children, the Alparense (or parents) constantly develop new technologies. For instance, when a child, looking up at the evening sky, said, "I want to see what that white dot is, up there!" and threw a fit, his Alparense worked night and day till they invented a telescope. When other children saw it they all wanted one, so a telescope factory was built. In similar ways, advances are made throughout Alpa Femalpa.
Alpa Femalpa families have from one to three children, rarely more. One child, being childish, may say, "Yes!" when she is asked if she wants a baby brother or sister. She does not have the ability to realize that she will have to share command of the Alparense with her sibling, since the Alparense must be obedient to all their children. That child will not be fooled again if she is asked a second time after the birth of her sibling. Later, when the new baby is old enough to answer, the Alparense may be able to ask him while the older sister is not around (and if she has not already warned the boy of the danger of a third sibling) if he wants a baby brother. If a third child is born into the family, the older two will rarely ever let the Alparense out of their sight; this prevents the Alparense from getting the chance to ask the youngest if he or she wants a baby sister or brother.
As a favor to Homen, Arven made the world FLIMBY for the White Ynts. Most of the White Ynts were taken by Arven so the Blue Ynts could live in peace once again. The White Ynts depended on the hard-working, resourceful Blue Ynts for survival, since the White Ynts are shiftless, no-good bums. To survive being in a world with no Blue Ynts, the smarter White Ynts (called "Rogling") conned the not-so-smart White Ynts (called "Habling") into "converting" into Blue Ynts. Here are some tales of the Rogling conning the Habling into being Blue Ynts:
One night, Papto, tired of wandering in the woods of Flimby, uvidel svetlo v okne drevorubačovej chaty. Papto nevlastnil svoju chatu, preťože bol príliš lenivý na to, aby si ju postavil. He thought to go to the cottage to see if the Ynts inside would let him stay, tak prišiel k dverám a zaklopal.
Drevorubačova žena otvorila dvere a povedala, "Shoo! Nevpustím nikoho do domu, pokiaľ nepríde môj manžel" Zmizni, už aj!" A zabuchla mu dvere pred nosom.
Papto was hungry, too, and he had smelled the dinner cooking in the cottage while the door was open. He looked around for something to eat and saw a discarded Gflutoburger box on the roof of the cottage. He hoped there might be a Gflutoburger still in the box, but if not, even licking the Gflutoburger sauce from the bottom of the box would be delicious. After quietly making his way onto the roof, Papto found a hole in it through which he could spy on the wife of the treecutter. Obviously the treecutter was too lazy to fix the hole. When he peaked through the hole, Papto saw a beautiful table set out with a savory junk roast, klootifish, and wine. The treecutter's wife and the county tree censor were seated at the table ready to dine.
Now Papto heard the treecutter lumbering home just then, and so did Mrs. treecutter. The treecutter was as nice a guy as you would want to meet, but his one quirk was that the mere sight of a county tree censor put him into a fit of rage. And that was why the censor was paying a neighborly visit to the wife, because he knew that the treecutter was out; and the good woman would therefore fix up the best vittles she had. As Papto watched through the hole, she threw everything on the table into cupboards and drawers and hid the censor in a trunk she used as a coffee table.
"What are you doing on my roof?" the treecutter asked Papto. "You'd better come in and eat dinner with me and stay in the spare room."
Papto brought the Gflutoburger box in with him, but kept it out of sight. The wife acted very glad to see them both and set the table and gave them each a big bowl of Toriweet (a gray, tasteless paste). Papto's mouth watered thinking about the junk roast, klootifish, and the other delicacies he had seen. He brought his Gflutoburger box up to his ear and opened and closed it a few times.
"Čo tam máš?" spýtal sa drevorubač.
"Oh, to je moja Gflutospirit-príručka," odpovedal Papto. "He says don't eat this Toriweet, eat the junk roast, klootifish and other things he had a Gflutospirit hide in the cupboards just now." "Super!" exclaimed the treecutter, who jumped up and found all the wonderful food which his wife had hidden there, but which he thought the Gflutospirit had brought forth. The wife of the treecutter dared not say a word, but put all the food on the table. Now Papto put his box up to his ear again and opened and closed it.
"Čo hovorí?" spýtal sa treecutter.
"He says don't forget the wine behind you in that drawer."
A tak sa Papto a treecutter tešili z vína. The treecutter wanted to see the Gflutospirit this guide used to provide these wonderful things.
"Can the guide conjure the Gflutospirit here for us to see?" asked the treecutter. "I wouldn't be troubled about looking at him; now that we finished off that wine I'm kind of loopy!"
"But of course!" said Papto. "This guide does whatever I tell it to do, don't you?" Here he nodded at the Gflutoburger box in his hand. "He says 'Yes.' But the Gflutospirit is very ugly; we might puke if we were to look upon it so soon after eating."
"So who's afraid of a little barf? What will he look like?"
"Dobre, ako vidíš, he'll look just like a county tree censor."
"Gah! To je škaredé! I must tell you, I go into fits of rage when I see a county tree censor; but I'll be okay knowing that it's really a Gflutospirit."
A tak Papto otvoril krabicu a zašepkal do nej, potom si ju priložil k uchu.
"Veľmi dobre." povedal Papto. "He's in the trunk you use as a coffee table. We may go look at it now, but don't let it out of the trunk!"
"Help me hold the lid." povedal lumberjack. And they all went over to the trunk where the wife had hidden the county tree censor. They opened the lid and peeked in; then the treecutter slammed the lid closed.
"Wow! Je škaredý! Fuj!"
Potom súhlasili, že potrebujú iný nápoj. Otvorili inú zásuvku a našli inú fľašu vína.
Oveľa neskôr, the treecutter povedal, "Musíš mi predať Gflutospirit-príručku v krabici. Pýtaj si, čo len chceš. Dám za to všetko."
"Nie, nikdy by som to nespravil," povedal Papto, "len predstava, na čo všetko ťo môžem použiť!"
"Oh, tak chcem Gflutospirit-príručku tak veľa! Oh, prosím, prosím, prosím, prosím, prosím, oh prosím, prosííím, oh prosím, prosím, prosím, prosím, oh oh, prosím, oh prosím, prosím, prosím, prosím, prosím, proo-sííííím, prosím, oh prosím, prosím, oh prosím, prosím!" zaplakal drevorubač; a pokračoval v žobraní.
"Dobre," povedal Papto, koniec koncov, "ak mi sľúbiš, že ty a tvoja žena budete predstierať, že ste Blie Ynts počas troch rokov kvôli mne, potom ti dám túto Gflutoburger krabicu."
"To je dohoda!" povedal treecutter. "But you must take that trunk with that Gflutospirit that looks like a county tree censor away with you; it gives me the creeps!"
When Papto left in the morning, he took the trunk. On his way, on the other side of the woods, was a very deep river. The water rushed by under the bridge he was crossing and the river thundered in the quiet of the forest.
"Whew!" povedal Papto. "Som unavený! This trunk feels like it's full of my brother's weights. I think I may as well throw it in the river, and if it floats home to me, great; if not, no big deal."
Then he lifted one end of the trunk, just a little. "No!" cried the censor from within the trunk, "let me out first!"
"Aaaaaah!" zakričal Papto, predstierajúc zľaknutie, "Gflutospirit je stále tu! I'd better throw him in fast, so he'll drown!"
"Nie, nie, nie!" exclaimed the censor. "I'll be a Blue Ynt for you for three years if you let me out."
"I could do that!" povedal Papto. And for the next three years he did not lift a finger.
Not much is known about ELBEETO, except that it is a twin of Flimby, and that it lies on the far side of a huge gulf of yellow plasma. Space currents momentarily blow the yellow plasma away, revealing Elbeeto to the patient observer.
SUMP je svet pozostávajúici zo skupiny dutých planét, existujúce v sebe. Sú to: Outer Junn - obývané Wx, about a million times as many as Wx itself. Because there are no Proto-Skullmonkeys to harvest them every month, about one half of the population is crushed to death by their collective weight.
Mezzo Abbernun - obývaný Abbermi. Abbers suspect that there is a world above their Outer Junn Floor Sky, because of the occasional Wx carcass oozing through a crack or hole, but this is an unproved theory to them. Some Abbers have drilled their way through the Mezzo Abbernun to find Inner Abbernun. These travelers, however, never returned to the surface to tell what they found. This has prevented most Abbers from attempting the journey but a few hundred have.
Abbers fall into three castes. The first is the intellectual, inquisitive caste called the Frankites. The second is the warring Abbers called the Dazzites. The third is the religious caste called the Ee's. The Frankites spend their time in pursuit of knowledge about the other worlds of Sump: Outer Junn and Inner Abbernun. The Frankites are not respected by either the Dazzites or the Ee's. The Ee's accuse the Frankites of messing with their religious mythologies. The Dazzites think the Frankites are a bunch of sissies. The Frankites developed the theory of a world above their Outer Junn Floor Sky because of the occasional Wx carcass oozing down through a crack or hole. The Abbers have no way of reaching the Floor Sky, but a drop or two of the disgusting, rotting flesh of the Wx's from Outer Junn sometimes trickles down. The Frankites have developed a science out of the study of stuff that falls from the sky. They have formed theories of what the world above must be like. Theories of a world within theirs are called the "Crankules Inner Abbernun Conjecture" after the Frankite named Crankules who is said to be the first Abber to say, "I wonder if there's a world within our world?" The Frankites have lead expeditions into caves, crevices and holes in the ground. Most expeditions run into dead-ends; the ones that do not have never come back to report what they found. The Ee's say this just confirms what they have known all along, that Inner Abbernun houses a Door to the Other Side. Although a few Frankites say there are no doors, most agree that there may be something like a door somewhere in the universe. The Dazzites consider the Frankites research into doors their only useful function in society.
The Ee's spend their time in pursuit of the knowledge of mythologies. Some Ee's follow Father; some Ee's follow Quater; some Ee's follow Arven. Some follow Father and Quater; some follow Quater and Arven; some follow Father and Arven. Some Ee's follow all three together: Father, Quater and Arven.
Most Dazzites want nothing to do with a Door to the Other Side. They would be very interested, though, if someone found a door to another world that they could conquer.
Abberwabbee is the notable high priest of the Ee's. Kapangdazz, chief warrior of the Dazzites is plotting to assassinate him due to Abberwabbee's doctrine of peace which threatens the Dazzite warrior lifestyle.
Inner Abbernun - which is said to house a door to the other side. All of the Abber cultures have a mythology regarding the door and a special name that identifies that mythology. Here are some of the more popular mythologies:
Lipocarrutherrs - The door is all around us. This is the mythology of the door amongst a small group of Frankites, called the Ricks. They believe that the door is just a natural consequence of the evolution of all living things. They are fond of going out to the Eubendy forests and hugging the Eubendy trees. Ricks desire to become one with nature, then, they believe, they will be able see the way to the door. Until you become one with nature, they say, you cannot hope to see as nature sees. And, according to the Ricks, nature sees all.
Winthrrop Ballyhoo - We have already gone through the door. This is one of many mythologies found amongst groups within the Ees. This group within the Ees calls itself the Marffees. They believe whole-heartedly that there is a door, but they also believe that all have passed through the door in one instant sometime in the past. The Marffees say that since we are all on the other side of the door, there is no need to look for it.
Shempocalrrisian - Each of us has a door within himself / herself. This is also a mythology from a group within the Ees, call the Shempocalrrisianites. It is said that Shempocalrrisian found the door, but did not go through it. Instead, he ground the door to a fine dust then put the dust into the drinking water of Mezzo Abbernun. Since that day, the first time an Abber takes a drink of water, they are said to have a door to the other side within them. The Shempocalrrisianites hold a water-drinking-rite for their babies.
Rrmbek - We can find the door only when we have tallied up enough good deeds. Strangely enough, this is not another mythology from amongst the Ees, instead it comes from the Frankites. Those of the Frankites that believe this myth are pseudo-scientific and perpetuate the myth started hundreds of years ago by Jabberph. Jabberph was insane, but he was able to string together sentences full of scientific and theological sounding ideas. Those who did not know better and did not want to take the time to research Jabberph claims would say, "Hear, hear!" when he came to their street corner to speak. Jabberph, although enrolled in the Frankite schools, attended class only occasionally. He spent most of his time digging for imaginary buried treasure or counterfeiting money; with the latter he would pay classmates to do his homework for him. It was on what was to be the last of his treasure hunts that Jabberph said he found the scroll of Rrmbek.
Jabberph said that the scroll of Rrmbek explained that if one does enough good deeds one will be given a pair of X-ray glasses with which the door can be found. Jabberph said that good followers of Rrmbek who have disappeared are the only proof one needs to believe the authenticity of the scrolls (which, by the way, no one has ever seen). The fact that they disappeared, Jabberph writes, shows that they got their glasses and went straight to the door. No one has yet been found who can name a missing follower of Rrmbek.
Prrokoschmoko - Life stinks, and then you fall through the door; maybe. This mythology has a small support amongst all three castes of Abber.
Klarrczmun - A very good being made the door long ago and only told one good Abber how to find it. Before he found it, though, he told one other good Abber and thus the knowledge of the door has been passed down through the generations. It is said that somehow knowledge of the door's existence became public, now anyone can find the door, if one goes about it the right way. To do so, one must attach oneself to a good and righteous person to get taken through the door when the righteous person goes through. This mythology also has a small support amongst all three castes of Abber. They are called Klarrczmun by other Abbers. The key here, it is believed, is to staple yourself to a righteous Abber so that when he does find the door and go through, you will go with him. This myth states that an Abber named Klabberz, who lived next door to Toogabberg, thought Toogabberg knew how to find the door. Toogabberg was a very nice guy, but Klabberz thought he was the nicest guy there ever was. Klabberz figured that if anybody had a chance of finding the door it would be Toogabberg. So Klabberz got a very powerful stapler and with it attached himself to Toogabberg. It is said that when Toogabberg found the door and went through, Klabberz went through, too. Therefore, Abbers who believe this myth are always looking for someone who is considered righteous to whom they can staple themselves. If a Klarrczmun is seen trying to staple himself to another Abber by other Klarrczmuns, they also will try to attach themselves. Usually, friends will help get a Klarrczmun off the nice Abber, but if an Abber is tackled by several Klarrczmun, the Dazzite police are summoned to remove them.
Burrntoowie - Arven made the door and immediately declared that none shall pass through it upon penalty of death. He only told anyone about it to taunt them with its inaccessibility.
Flimperrty - The door was brought to Inner Abbernun by Merlopax the Kleptomaniac. There are many legends of Merlopax; he is a folk hero among the lazy Abbers who do not want to be involved in any of the castes. In this tale, Merlopax left Mezzo Abbernun and stole the Door to the Other Side and brought it back to Mezzo Abbernun only to lose it to Merlopaxpax the Con-man.
Appilow Pinsmarr - Dvere sú darom od Otca. Nie je nič, čo by mohol niekto urobiť, aby našiel dar dverí, musí ti to ukázať iba sám Otec. A potom sa musíš rozhodnúť či skutočne chceš prejsť cez dvere.
Innagorradavida - One finds the door during the heat of battle, dying a victorious death. This is the favorite door mythology among the Dazzites.
Jyan't Rroeb't - cesta ku dverám je pravda je všetko, čo je skutočné a všetkých Abbernunov je iba sen.(?)
Tingleyspald - Obrovská korytnačka postavila vchod.
Rroy Al - Len 3667 Abberov má povolenie prejsť cez dvere.